jobs for people with social anxiety
81One problem that many people with social anxiety have is that have a very difficult time going to work and interacting with their co workers and their boss, sometimes they get to the point that they avoid going to work for fear of meeting with people.
Many wish there were jobs for people with social anxiety, but the truth is that no matter what job you choose you will need to interact with people and with a boss.
However, due to the advances of technology and globalization there are now some possibilities to work from your own home, you might need to talk with some people by email.
But it does not mean that you should avoid talking with people, in fact i believe you should make an effort to go to a normal job or at least try to meet some people that you can be comfortable with. It can be difficult but you need to push your self forward or take a treatment to overcome your social phobia.
To work from home you will need an internet connection and a computer of course. There are different kind of work or jobs that you can get on the internet, you might come across some internet business but i dont recommend you try any work at home business because you will risk money and it has a learning curve.
So what kind of jobs can you find?
You can work as a freelance writer, on their internet there is always people that need content written for their business and websites, you can easily find someone that needs your services for written. In most cases you dont have to talk on telephone to get the work you can use a service such as elance.com or rentacoder.com to find people that want your writing services.
For writing services you can get paid from $5 dollars an article to $15 or more depending on how long is the article needed or how many words they need it written. Is not difficult to find topics to write about, just think about what interest you have or hobbies and you can easily write about those or research information on the internet and write about those topics.
There are many other kind of jobs that you can do over the internet if you have social anxiety, for example you can fill online surveys and get paid, you design graphics, research information, proof read and many other things that you can do depending on your abilities, just go to rentacoder.com and search for the different options available.
The options above are some kind of work that you can do on the internet and you wont need to deal with people face to face. However if you have social phobia i encourage you to look for professional help and follow a treatment, being alone is not going to improve your problem.
Follow an effective treatment such as behavioral therapy and improve your life, now you know how to start working on the internet, is up to you to improve you self.
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I agree with the comment above-I'm not sure working from home is the most effective way to deal with SAD, in fact, I think working from home will simply exacerbate the problem. CBT combined with a stress-free job that allows some level of interaction I would imagine is the best solution.
Well if those jobs(THE STRESS-FREE JOB THAT ALLOWS FOR SOME LEVEL OF INTERACTION) were available for ALL the social anxiety people out there we would be doing them. But the are not easy to find and that is half the battle for people who suffer from anxiety. Think of those without college degrees who have anxiety and how hard it must be for them to find a stress free job.
I didn't know there was such a thing as a stress free job.
I agree with dealingwithit. If we can work online, then we're free to socialize within our emotional limits. I try to push myself to do a bit more than I'm comfortable with, but the most common jobs out there are highly social, fast food, retail and so on. Those who don't suffer from social anxiety or only suffer from mild social anxiety often have a hard time understanding how hard it can be.
Yes, I imagine the majority of workers deal with some stress. Those without college degrees,however, dont have a comfy office/enviroment to work in. We have to do the jobs that our society frowns upon. Making on average less than 40k but putting in 50-80+hrs per week in a fast paced enviroment with lots of required social interactions. White collar will never understand though and I dont expect them to because I dont understand them either. Thats why I stay on my side of the city and they stay on theirs.
I've had Social Phobia symptoms for over 30 years, I'm older now and still have the symptoms, in fact the symptoms are worse now than when I was younger. This may be to do with not knowing what I had and no treatment, its now long term. I have become isolated at home, even with Agraphobia symptoms with strong avoidance. I would like to have a job but most jobs involve interacting with people, and thats what I find so difficult if not impossible to do. Looking back, if I had known what I have (Social Phobia) I would have sought treatment for it 30 years ago. Its not easy challenging the symptoms of Social Phobia especially when the symptoms are severe.
I have worked at many retail jobs my whole life and i never realized why i kept on quitting my job until i found out i had SAD well it's sooo hard dealing with life with SAD i stopped talking to friends family and the public in general I've been without a job for 2 yrs because the symtoms are just getting worse as i age the government is to blame but im not getting into that right now i need a %$&* JOB
It sucks I need money so bad, but I can't even make it to an interview. I tired to file for S.S.I but of course they said Anxiety is not a disorder, but they never felt the way I do or suffer the life that I do. It sucks I just want a job with no people, but I know I will never find that and I will stay broke!
No it's not fair that we have to sink or swim. I want to feel normal, unfortunely NO drug out there can cure you. Maybe for a little while but not for good. There should be jobs for people with this problem. They should, however, try to improve their social skills during the process.
This is a crock, somebody's obviously selling something here. I'm so sick of people selling things. I just got scammed for 500 bucks earlier today, now I've got someone trying to entice me because I'm disabled?! Working from home is for like 1 percent of people, it's very difficult. The only real way to make a living is to get a job in the real world.
I did get on SSI but they didn't say it was for social phobia even though it was. They said it was severe mood swings, what ever but I would like to get off of SSI I'm getting 720 mo. and with this spin down I can even afford to seek help. I always thought I was just shy in school I kept ditching school until I just stopped going. Wouldn't even eat lunch at school didn't want to be around people wasn't worth it. Not sure why the school didn't do anything about it. After I found out S.A.D I got worse cause I then stopped putting the effort to go out now I had the cause of my stress. That was a hugh mistake now its much worse for me in my late 30's I have no education overweight from sitting around and eating to much. Only way out I can think of is to buy a cheap farm a have some healthy living where I can go outside in comfort and get some exorcise. Don't do what I did and stay inside worse thing you can do.
I think to even attempt to write a list of jobs for people with social phobia is ridiculuos and it really limits us. How are we supposed to overcome our phobia if you don't face it? The only way out, and we all know this, is to face our social anxiety. One step at a time, doing what we have to do beyond our body's response to a situation. So what if we flush, so what if we sweat? It is very difficult I can tell you this from experience but it is not impossible to be free from it or learn to live with it without it affecting what you want to do. Think about it, others have worse problems. I am still dealing with this but this is a battle that I will win with God's help because I wasn't born to be frighten all the time and have a mediocre life and neither were you!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!
yeah try being a nurse with SA...well an unemployed nurse right now. i need a job soon. its terrible but i just feel like i can't breathe when im around a big group of people.
I'm a nineteen year old girl suffering with SAD also. It's so tough not working, and having to quit every job I get due to the panic attacks. I can't go to college yet because I'm too afraid, and do not drive because I do not work. I feel as if my non existant life is in the gutter and that I'm a major disappintment to my family.. Medication and therapy do not help, at all. I feel so depressed and useless... Can anyone relate? :(
Hey, cheer up! I know its hard because I am going through the same thing. I am fixing to quit a good job because of my SA and I feel like such a failure. However, I try my best to press on even though at times I feel like I just cant take feeling this way anymore. I go from wanting to do one thing, to wanting to do something else because of social situation I may have to encounter. I get really depressed because I know that there is a lot of confidence within me, but its trapped because of this awful disorder. I think the good Lord will be my only way out of this mind hell hole.
Has anyone worked at walgreens with SAD on here? I'm thinking about applying because it's a pretty friendly enviornment; not so stressful... Seems feasible depending on the department. But with todays economy, who knows if they are even hiring.. There's no way I could work I'm fast food/hospitalitu enviornments either eventhough tips go a long way :(
Unless you suffer from an anxiety disorder, not your common everyday stuff, but real severe (I'm bipolar II so I'm speaking from experience), its hard to think how this can be a good idea. I'll tell you this. After having had 15 to 20 jobs and leaving / being fired from everyone of them, its better to have something you can do SUCCESSFULLY!
You can talk about behavioral modification and CBT and other approaches all you want, (I'm finishing up with a BS shortly in social work with an a.a. in psychology), but the reality is, not everyone can be brought to "social norms" level within the working world. After I finish my degree I'll probably look for work where I can be free from as many stressors as possible (thereby reducing the chance of anxiety / bipolar related issues). I'm hoping with my schooling I'll be able to work in the "real world" but I know chances are I won't be able to.
As a side note, the only memories I recall from my life are those that were ingrained from anxieties, including those of the day I got married, and the birth of my child.
Hopefully this helps to understand the day in the life of living with anxieties. Its not an easy fix when its severe.
Anxiety is ruining my life too guys and gals. I tottally feel like hiding in my cave day to day like a snail due to having no life and work. We should have a support group site with someone helpful to offer sufficent and plausible solutions for us!!
hi everyone! anxiety has got to be the worst thing ever, im 22 had it for 4 years now, my life was great but since the constant anxiety i havent been the same person, people just dont understand unless u have it! its so hard when my dad keeps going on at me just get up and get a job...i wish it was that easy!!! i hope there will be a cure one day soon!!!
I have SADD, and its really difficult finding a job. Not that I'm scared of social interaction jobs, I would go for any kind of job right now. I wouldn't be a server or anything, probably something like a Sales Associate. Some interaction with customers but nothing to heavy, just a small convo about some products. I have severe SADD and have overcome some of my fears. Where the real problem lies for me is the job interview. One of the most important attributes to bring to an interview is Self confidence. And if you don't, you are pretty much screwed. Its like the job industry is rigged against us.
IM A 17 YR OLD GIRL, SUFFERING WITH SADD, nobody seems to understand my phobia, i hate it.
i have such severe symptons i am scared to leave the house occasionally.
but im fighting my fear and hoping to try n get a job facing up to my worst fears,cos i know i can fight this with or without help.
I know how everyone feels I also have SADD. I'm tempted to go on anxiety medication but wonder if that's the right choice. Medication seems to make things worse and screw with your head more. I'm trying to go to college by doing on-line courses. I tried to go to a regular classroom but had a major panic attack. Depression seems to follow after failed attempts and regret. I'll try to figure it out because life is short and why not try to be like the rest of society happy and fulfilled.
The article is CLEAR in saying that it does not suggest working at home! There are people who have this to great enough of a degree that they HAVE to work from home in order to work. It is a true mental illness that is devistating...simply devistating. Read the whole article people.
I really think working parttime is a good solution but not the best. I feel like if I worked somewhere part time I'd have a sense of freedom. If I'm stuck in a full time day every day I get this feeling of being smothered and I start to become obsessive over little things at the job. Right now I'm debating if I should go into work tomorrow because I didn't show up today and I was sick. but I think because I'm so new they will all be giving me an attitude for calling in sick. And this horrible fear of the reaction is making me want to just quit and not deal with it. I also kind of hate my job and wish I could just work part time.
I have SAD. I have had it since a child. I have a great attempt at education! I have worked more jobs than anyone I know. The problem is... attendance. I apply and get a job on my "good" days. After I am working/or going to school, I can feel my SAD kicking it up a notch. I still get ready for work or school like normal. I get to the car and I can drive to the building. I can't get out of the car to go in. I might even arrive an hour early to just "adjust" to my surrounding. I get fired for missing too many days. I will even call and say that I am in the parking lot and can't come in. Then I have to explain...that buys me some time before they fire me...but not for long. Since I am not disabled.
I started class in August. I was doing SUPER until my schedule was interupted by (whatever), then I started feeling it come. Repeat of above. Now its the final week of school and I can't even go.
I don't know what to do.
I have social anxiety disorder, and I tried facing it for 12 years - ran a family daycare, dealing with at least 7 sets of parents and children every day - going to college and graduating with honors, attempting to adopt high needs foster children - going to their numerous appointments and meetings. I can honestly say my SAD is much worse after all of this than it was before. It is easy enough to say facing it will make things better - but people who sense the anxiety do judge harshly, and can destroy everything which you set to work with (which is what happened to me.) Counseling never helped, and medication makes me very sick. I am looking for ideas of what to do for work, where I don't have to interact (but the ideas I get are computer geek, graphic design - being SAD doesn't mean I am good at working with computers.)
It's so great to hear from other people with SAD. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone and that no one will ever understand what I go through. Thank you guys for showing me that's not true.
So far, I've managed to avoid looking for work, mainly because I suffered from a depressive episode I am just now getting out of. Social anxiety restricts me from finding and keeping work. I can't face going into the city. Is there any hope? If the counselling doesn't work, what does? Have you guys tried meditation and mindfulness? Having to talk to people and mingle is just horrible.
I think this is what I have, SAD, but it just has come to me after I left New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina, I don't feel like the same person. Today I got really nervous at work I had sweaty cold hands, my heart was racing, my voice was shaky over the phone I had to go home early. I don't want people to know because then they will look at me weird. Everday is a struggle and amaze myself at what I have overcome last year I worked as a sales person, but I never nervous, but at this new job everytime someone passes me I get nervous. my body begins to twitch, this is so unfair
It's good to know I'm not the only one going though this! I'm 17 and I dropped out of school in year 11. My mum wants me to get a fulltime job. I lied to her saying I applied at several stores at the local shopping centre. I hate being around people so what choice did I have? I had to lie :( I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't live off my mum forever! So what do I do? I'm probably gonna end up on the streets when I'm forced to move out. God I hate my life!
I've had SAD for 25 years. To give others hope, I want to remind everyone that people "survived" SAD even before they knew it was even a "condition". Before there were therapists and medicines to help; before there were books, talkshows, support groups and forums like this. There are more resourses than in all of history to help you with your SAD. So try to feel good in a least knowing of all the time and places to have SAD, your in the best possible.
As for me, one of the things that helped me the most so far was that "Attacking Anxiety & Depresion with Linda Basset" that I saw on TV for years before I took the chance and bought it. She (Linda Basset) use to be just like us; she still is just like us, only she found ways to work through her SAD. So many skills, tools and ways of thinking that I learned to notice and change have really made me better. I still have SAD (in fact, I soon have my first root canal in a couple days, and I'm a TOTAL mess), but unlike the past, I know I will get through it.
Most medicines I tried had HORRIBLE side effects for me, but I found Xanx, used on occation, helped me over rough spots. I take a tiny dose of Imiprimine every night too, and that helps take the edge off.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and social anxiety when i was 22years old...I'm now 41, but I feel I've suffered since childhood, always feeling out of place and uncomfortable around people...it's a painful struggle...I've been unable to work for couple years now and feel so incompetent and like such a failure. I want to function...at least be able to work part-time. I'm considering online courses, but sometimes feel, that as usual, will start it and quit half way through...wasting money all over again.
I'm 32 and i have social anxiety. It's very hard to maintain a job because of this anxiety. I've quit many jobs because of the fear of facing people. Even today i'm ready to quit the job i have now, because i can't stand the meetings that we have. Doing the job isn't hard at all, facing people is extremely hard. One person said it best, we just have to face our fears, but even saying that, i'm facing them, and still don't feel i'm getting stronger. However a great job to have is dealing with people with Developmental Disabilies and Autism. I worked in a home with just me and two guys with Autism. It was great. I only rarely seen my supervisor and i could deal with the individuals with Autism. Many of you should really consider looking into this.
I'm 32 and i have social anxiety. It's very hard to maintain a job because of this anxiety. I've quit many jobs because of the fear of facing people. Even today i'm ready to quit the job i have now, because i can't stand the meetings that we have. Doing the job isn't hard at all, facing people is extremely hard. One person said it best, we just have to face our fears, but even saying that, i'm facing them, and still don't feel i'm getting stronger. However a great job to have is dealing with people with Developmental Disabilies and Autism. I worked in a home with just me and two guys with Autism. It was great. I only rarely seen my supervisor and i could deal with the individuals with Autism. Many of you should really consider looking into this.
I was doing some reasearch on SAD and found this book written by a panel of medical health experts. The book is basically a handbook that provides medical advice relating to work-related issues. I was impressed that the authors saw fit to emphasize that not everyone with SAD is totally curable---in other words, you have to work within YOUR limitations, and that employers should recognize SAD as a condition that might require adjustments with certain employees (in other words, rather than forcing an office work to make speeches, allowing that worker to do what they know best). To the guy who mentioned Walgreens, not a bad idea. And here's another suggestion: rather than go to an interview or job trying to 'hide' your SAD, be upfront about it. "I suffer from SAD, a medically diagnosed condition, but would love to work at such and such a job that I feel is suited for me". Just admitting your problem will relieve the burden of having to 'hide it' and that alone, will help some with anxiety. And, it will help establish good lines of communication with future employers right off the bat. hope this helps and good luck all.
I recommend seeing a therapist. Books that have been helpful for me are Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life and The Dialectical Behavior Skills Training Workbook available at Barnes and Noble.
I'm a 19 year old male, and I've been suffering from social anxiety for as long as I can remember. It was always hard to make friends and I moved around a lot. Anyways, my problem now is that I've pretty much been living off of government assistance from delaying my graduation until now and now that I am no longer a full time student I won't be having the funds and I need to find a job. I have worked before and walked out on all but one of my jobs, and that's only because the job was temporary and ended. I hope that being forced into this work or starve situation will help me to overcome my problems.
Anyways, I thought I'd share my story since reading the ones above helped me to see I'm not alone. Good luck to anyone who finds and reads this like I did.
i don't know if i have the SAD but my everyday life is a mess i feel uneasy around people i always look down and cover my face using a hat when walking in streets i cant look people in the eye, my co workers thinks that i'm so abnormal and they all hate me, i dont talk to much to people even to my family i hate going outside the house .. do i have SAD too? i want to go see a psychologist but i dont have the courage to do it .. hate this..
Amanda, you do not have to lie to your "Mum". Tell her the truth no matter how hard it is. You need to sit down and ask your mum (Mother) to just sit there (in a nice way) and listen to you....Ask her to not say anything, just listen. Tell her how you really feel inside. If you can afford it, ask for both of you to see behavior doctor or therapist. I guarantee it will help. Remember though, that God is the only true healer of this!!!!!
I want you to know that God Loves you and her. I pray for you. My daughter is dealing with SAD. I tell her every day that I love her and that we will be there for her no matter what it takes.
Your Mum (Mother) needs to get educated on this.
I dealt with SAD growing up, but what I have done is FACED IT. When I get nervous, then this is when I want to go around meeting people. When I get down and depressed, this is when I want to go out an do physical activities and talk to as many people I can. When I am sad, this is when i come out of the house and do something other than stay in my room or the house. When my boss asks me a question I can not answer, I simply say...I don't know, but i will work on the answer can find someone who can. I don't clam up anymore. I PRACTICED FACING IT!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL....I LOVE MY DAUGHTER who is dealing with this! We will be there for her no matter what though!!!!!
Win
As a few people above have posted, not everyones condition is the same, people with mild SAD only have a glimpse of what people with severe SAD have to deal with.
I'm 18 currently, i have attempted to face my SAD head on from age 10-16, all it did was get worse, now im taking medicine to help with it, but all that does is bring around whole new problems.
- and when I said severe, I mean severe. Although mentally I do not mind being around people, when I do go around people (any number of people, 1+) my body reacts for some reason, if this is truely SAD or not I don't know, but that's what the Doc's said so yeah..
But as I was saying, my condition is so bad that even being around one person is like hell, I do not have attacks, so to say. It's more of a constant non controlable wave of problems; panic attacks, heat flashes, shallow breathing, blurry vision - temporarily go blind sometimes, blackouts, etc.
So to get to the point, not everyone can just 'face it head on.' Some of us have it so bad that we need those 'work at home' type of jobs.
If i could get out and work I would, as it is my dad has to work 12 hour days 6 days a week, while i am just sitting at home cause I can't work, how do you think that makes me feel?
For those people who are able to get rid of their SAD, I am happy you are now able to live a normal life, but that isn't the case for everyone.
SAD ruined my life. I had a job earning over 50k. I had a girlfriend and some close friends. Driving became impossible because of anxiety so I had to give up my job. College is out of the question so I am destined for a life of poverty. Now I live in my parents basement at 27 years of age. That isn't flattering, especially if you are a man. I only leave the house to go to the liquor store (about 2 times a month). I avoid all interactions with family, or anyone for that matter. I time my sleep patterns so I am asleep when they are awake and vice-versa. All I do is sleep, drink and listen to my jazz albums. As far as i'm concerned my life is over. Unfortunately I lack the mental fortitude to end my life and stop the misery. Medications do not work for everyone and it's naive to think they do. Therapy doesn't work for everyone. I am sick and tired of people blowing smoke up my ass and telling me everything is going to be ok. I know what the future has in store for me. Jail, homelessness, poverty and humiliation. I only pray that I will eventually be able to end my life. What is the point of living if you cannot enjoy the ride? I applaud those who have taken their own life because now they are free from pain.
Mark!I have gone through your comment and honestly I would like to tell you something!Its takes a strong yet weak hearted person to contemplate suicide.I have read books like 'Life after Death' and have a friend who is psychic!When ever this friend of mine meets the dead he tells me some of them are in so much of pain.They are stuck in the middle of nowhere!Apparently when a person committs suicide he/she gets stuck in a black tunnel and literally begs the lord/power of belief to take them back in the earth life.
You should really stop living in the past and drill this in your mind,remind yourself day and night that you have a beautiful present in your life which is ironically called just that- PRESENT!You know after reading all the comments I feel too that I might be a victim of SAD because I too feel uncomfortable around some people,avoid meeting new people(which in my case is impossible since i have a huge family and their friends and partners and all that)But the fact of the matter is we are what we are by the way we think.Thought process makes the difference.
Mark trust me if you keep on sitting at your home all day long and get out just 2ce in a month,you will just worsen things for yourself!Until and unless you dont go out and meet sumone(maybe 1 person whom you can connect with)things will not improve for you!You will have to get out and give youself a chance!Dont be so over critical of yourself!You are just 27!You still have a long life ahead of you and ONLY YOU can make it better!Only you can make the difference!Instead of going to doctors,go out and meet people(or a person) who can really get you to be yourself!A person who makes you really comfortable!Sitting at home and sulking and feeling sorry for yourself will make no difference whatsoover!Give yourself a shot and keep yourself inspired!
I'm 30 and I have social phobia. My biggest fear is being the center of attention. I don't like people looking at me at all. I have no friends. I'm terrified of talking to anyone that I don't know. My neck and face start feeliing real hot and I turn bright red. When I get like this my brain shuts down completely. I can't even tell you what my name is. I just go blank. It's pure torture! I have tried coping with it by avoiding things most of my life. When I was younger, in grade school, I started having panic attacks. Later in my teen years, I used whatever I could to escape reality. At 21, I had a baby and decided to go to college. With the help of a lot of Valium I successfully graduated nursing school. I refused to do any assignments that required me to talk out loud. When I went to work I did well for a while on Valium but it wasn't long before I found a drug that worked much better...opiates. I started with Lortab and eventually I was using IV drugs just to function. I just wanted to feel normal. This lasted 2 yrs before I turned myself in. I went to rehab but this was torture because it consisted of mostly group where I had to talk in front of others and treatment for addiction is going to AA/NA meetings where I have to be around a lot of people. My anxiety disorder is worse now than it has ever been. I've seen numerous psychiatrists/counselors and nothing has worked for me so I'm basicly just a prisoner in my home. The worst part is that my 9 yr old has also been diagnosed with it and knowing that he will have to live with this is just heartbreaking!
I have a family history of severe anxiety, my father, my sisters and of course me. Our anxiety is crazy, driven to succeed in honourable careers and buckling the whole way. I was a mess in my final year of school, mess in university with low marks, mess in all my jobs, alienated all my friends and are scared of strangers. I work as a teacher, and am stuck and trying to get out. I don't like anything about it, even though it makes you sound like a nice person when you say "I'm a school teacher". I try to apply for jobs but don't believe I have any skills or qualities, I have had interview after interview and have failed out because they have said that I have no confidence in what skills I have. I don't even know what kind of career I want, just a job that has minimal stress, my anxiety causes me to fall ill about 10 times a year.
I am 21 years old and have the same issues everyone else is facing. I graduated with a marketing degree but am too scared to go on an interview. I want a job so bad and im running out of my loan money and will have no money if I don't start doing something soon. Everytime I miss an interview I get depressed because I see it as a wasted opportunity. My boyfriend drove 50 miles for me to meet his family and I had a complete anxiety attack and made him take me home. Everytime these things happen to me I feel so guilty I will cry for hours. My boyfriend knows I have these issues but doesn't know I can't even go to an interview or maintain a job. I am very sensitive to medicine so that is not an option. I feel stuck and destined for failure...I don't know what to do.
Eh reading all these posts, well at least I'm not alone in this. I'm 30, female, no friends (do want), no boyfriend (that's good, I'm the polygamy kind) and no job. My parents have been financially supporting me for the past 3 years and have now had it with me. (I'd rather die than tell them why I'm unemployed.) I'm knocking my brains out for a solution.
Also, I find it interesting that while we all have SAD, we are still so different. I for one love living in a big city and I love the millions of people around me (I fucking hate the country where I grew up). But being in a room ful of people and having to talk to them is a torture chamber. What is the point of such life? There must me something for me as I am. I don't have the slightest idea what.
I also noticed that some folks have sad since birth, others from some event. I developed SAD, among other things, from an assault in teenhood. And while I fixed my intimacy problems, the job thing stayed.
I know I am highly inteligent but with no venue to show it for. I can learn languages like it's joke, but what good does that bring me? Others have to go to school to learn a language,put an effort in it. Then they get to invest that skill. I need no effort, but don't know what to do with my talents.
Hi, I'm 32 and I've suffered from Social anxiety since I started going to school. Overweight as a child, I was constantly put down, harrassed, told I was dumb, kicked, pushed, etc by agressive dominant children. On the outside I was striving to fend off the fears, but inside I was left dazed and hurting. The hell of a home environment and break-up of my parents left me fleeing into the false affections and attention of a manipulative, psychologically abusive religious cult when I was 15. It was hell for 8 years, and then coming to the reality that people are selfish, hurtful and manipulative just instilled more fears, hurts and self doubt.
My case is very much due to tormenting circumstances, but nonetheless it leaves a batter person, unable to cope with others, and forever guarding myself and unable to cope with hierarchies. I haven't been able to cope with going to work over the years, with the fear of fitting in and being liked, always monitoring what I say and wondering how people are judging me.
It's chronic. The panick attacks to force myself to make an income to support myself and my daughter is immense. I want to have a good life, be able to cope with people, but I know also that something always goes wrong and I quit. My ability to cope has been very poor.
I've actually been very lucky in comparison to everyone - I have a very attentive, loving, and understanding husband who works hard and somehow manages to make everything work out okay. We aren't really middle class, but we're doing all right.
I have the same problem with work. It's almost impossible for me to find a job, and I can't seem to keep one more than a year. Working retail is pure hell. Everything feels so personal - from the customer jumping your case for not having something in-stock, to the co-workers who make fun behind your back - or am I just being paranoid? I hate the public, I hate parties, and having to meet new people. I wish I didn't. It makes things hard on my family.
I'm so awkward - and it doesn't help that on top of SAD I have depression and issues from sexual abuse as a child. I've also considered suicide SO many times. I'm too much of a coward, or I'd have done it by now. Life terrifies me, and being stuck at home because of no money, no job, no confidence, is torture. I'm almost 300 lbs. by now, and terrified my husband will leave me - even though he isn't that kind of man, I know. He's my guardian angel, but I can't seem to do anything to help him. I feel like I'm holding him back. I know I'm not helping him move forward.
I DO want to work, but Graphic Designer? Freelance Writer? If I don't have the confidence it takes to work at other jobs, what makes people think I can do these things? The other post was right - we don't all automatically have these types of skills, computer, or other wise. I wouldn't know where to begin.
So many people have confessed here to having these problems. It's terrifying. How are we supposed to even exist? I know it's not like living with a severe disability, but if so many people are living in fear like this, why can't we get help getting jobs like disabled people do? It seems like a huge problem, and it's probably only going to get worse.
I'm a 21 year old girl who did great in high school. I found a fiance that I love, and I want to get a good job so we can get married and move out. But my anxiety disorders are making it very hard for me to do so.
The one job I've had was at Walmart where both bosses and customers treated me like shit, and I got fired on purpose because I was too scared to say "I quit." Learning to drive scares me, and I'm currently taking medical coding/billing classes because I heard it was a fairly nonsocial job field where I could sit down and just work uninterrupted. But not 3 weeks into the class I'm already reading that coders/billers have to talk to patients and insurance officials, and getting flustered and worrying that I'm wasting my money on this course.
I want to learn to drive and get a job that I'm not terrified of so I can make my fiance and mother happy, and so I'm not wasting my intellectual potential. It's just so hard when even *thinking* of going to work at any job I can think of makes me edgy and miserable =(
I have social anxiety disorder and am bipolar. The only time I have felt relief from being so shy is when I am "manic". This has happened 3 times in my life and instead of being silent I am the complete opposite but I end up humiliating myself and making risky decisions. I am currently not on any medication because I pretty much gave up on it. I have become a complete recluse. I have had many jobs in the past but always end up quitting because every second at work my mind races and I am so nervous I can barely function. My mom wants me to try to go on disability because I am 23 years old and can't keep a job long enough to actually live on my own. I feel like going down that path will just leave me more isolated, though. I want to work but just feel as though I can't stick to anything because of my social anxiety. While at a job I feel like everyone is watching and judging me (even though I can recognize that it is sometimes all just in my head I still can't shake the feeling). Even my facial muscles freeze up, sometimes, when I'm trying to do a job because I am so self conscious. My heart races and I can't concentrate on the task at hand because I am too preoccupied with the awful feelings inside. When someone is explaining to me how to do something I can't just listen and soak up what they say. Instead, my own voice in my head is saying things like ÿou can' do anything right". I forget what the person tells me because I am so nervous talking to them so I have to ask the same questions over and over which is humiliating. I have never felt this depressed. I have no life as of right now and just don't know how to start to piece one together. Help.
Factory jobs, directing traffic, Food sampler, holding a sign for a retail store, working with your hands to get your mind off SA. You don't need SSI you need to think about a job that you can do that doesn't involve interacting with a lot of people. Some people like me are used to being alone and just don't like interacting with other people.
Im glad im,not alone in this situation the funny thing is, with me this started when i was little but somehow i was still able to interact. Im 22 now and i feel like its bad really bad i dont talk to friends family because their mad at me for not working and calling me lazy instead of understanding me, the only person that do is my love one. I need help with the stuff im 22 and feel like im going down the drain because im so scared to get out there and i finished a 2year college program and still cant get by its hard and i need some help like really i do
I have had SAD since I was very young. The constant fear lead me to drinking and all the problems that come with it. Now I am sober, yet the SA is still there. I cannot leave the house. I have no friends, I am barely able to speak to my family and life is a nightmare. I have had more jobs than I can count, but always end up quiting or getting fired because of the anxiety. I feel completely hopless at this point. Reading some of your stories truly hurts my heart and I wish I could fix our pain, but how can I help anyone else when I cant even help myself? The only comfort I can give is the same comfort you all have given to me: know that you are NOT alone and I care! I pray the Lord will make a way for us all.
There are different degrees of anxiety. For years I've loathed interacting with people, but was able to just suck it up and get by. But it's gotten to the point where I'm almost ready to put a bullet through my brain because I just can't take it anymore. If you don't have social anxiety you can't possibly understand what a horribly miserable experience being around other people is.
I understand the misery of living with social anxiety. It's comforting to know that at least I am not alone with this stuggle. I can trully relate with so many of you who have posted... Thanks!
I think that complete isolation is not ideal but it's the best thing you can do. I'm now working for 8 months in the same work but feel as I'm at the edge with my strength and going insane. I'm also considering suicide because of that. No matter how much you try, facing social phobia in not going to improve anything. It means only a lot of anxiety and stress every day. If you have SAD once, you have it for your whole life and you can't do anything about it.
I continue to hope and pray for relief from social anxiety. Maybe medication will help. The daily stress, shame and embarrassment is torment and depressing, but I just keep holding on for just one more day in hopes of finding the right medication to overcome this thing. Clay, I hope you will find the strength to fight this thing one more day at a time and I hope you will beat this thing. Maybe medication, therapy, or Jesus will help you win your battle. You are doing better than me by having a job for 8 months. I am house bound and unemployed for a year now. The only thing I can do about it is continue fighting, praying, and seeking help. Even though I have tried very many medications, I keep hoping the next one is going to be the one to beat this nasty, life long nightmare. Hang in there.
I've always had anxiety when it came to talking to people and when it came to real life obstacles. In school I never felt comfortable in class, and when it came to people that I didn't know and weren't my friends, I just felt really odd and out of place even talking to them. Especially when it came to teachers, I got nervous. I guess not knowing what to say, even when you do talk it's not really you talking. Like you're trying so hard to not look like an idiot. And the idea of having a job, I always think about (what if I screw up or make myself look like and idiot). I have no confidence whatsoever and I hate talking to people, it just makes me so nervous and uncomfortable.
It seems strange that there are so many posts from those who have SAD. The funny thing is, is that if SAD were not defined as a "disorder" then how many people would see their disposition as, not a character flaw, but just part of their character. People have preferences. I myself would prefer to be around people never - so that means as little as possible just to obtain food and services required for living. It doesn't mean I should seek treatment because I don't enjoy the company of other people. Employment can be an issue as it usually requires a commute and constant barrage of unwanted and (unpleasant) social interaction. But there are work-arounds and jobs and shifts that lend themselves to a minimal amount of exposure. The real irritating thing is to have others who actually like social interaction damning those who actual don't. I think us "SAD suffers" should start our own (online) organization offering help and suggestions for those who suffer from the phobia of being autonomous and alone! We can call them SOB's = Socially Obsessive Beings. :) :P
Grugach42: im right there with you on this. I don't really feel like there's something" wrong" with me. We are taught from birth that we're all supposed to be good little pack animals and if you're not you're a freak. I am personally content with my" illness" and don't believe i need fixing at all. I would be perfectly content sitting by myself all day every day, and on those few instances when i do desire social contact i could always just pop down to the nearest wal-mart. 10 minutes of that madness and im good for a month. Bugger anyone who says this is a disease; I'm perfectly healthy.
I'm 30 and I suffer from SAD, it sucks because I haven't told anyone about it. The longest I've held a job was for a year. I can't keep a job because of my fear of being around people, it sucks to be like this. I feel so alone and have no friends. I feel like a loser and that I'm broken and need to be fixed. I don't nowhere to get help. I'm embarresed to even admit that I suffer from SAD. I just want to be normal. My family is starting to wonder why after 10 years looking for work and then getting the job and then quitting, they don't understand and I have no more explantions or excuses for them. I hate my life.
I guess I'm luckier than most, was able to hold a job down for 20 years, but as I got older I found it more difficult to cope. I was in charge of an office of 20 people, and if I had to call a meeting or attend one I wouldn't sleep for days before, alcohol was my drug. In my 20's although very nervous I could cope, but in my 30's I began to have panic attacks during meetings it was hell, I felt so distant from all around me and everyone was just staring.
Luckily, I was able to take redundancy, but that was five years ago, I was able to pay off our mortgage. Occasionally I have flashes of major confidence and attend interviews, and have been offered jobs, I then panic over attending induction courses and decline the job, fearful that I'll be 'found out'. I lie about my qualifications, on job applications, just in case I may get an interview, embarrassed at my own intelligence.
I need a job, too scared to claim social, and my savings are running out, but I give the impression that all is fine to those around me.
Don't have any real friends apart from my wonderful girlfriend, whom I should marry but too scared, fearful of panicking during the ceremony (stupid I know).
Not wishing to be sexist, or taking away any pain that females are suffering with SAD, but I feel that its worse for us males, because we are supposed to be the 'strong ones' the 'providers'.
The hell of it all is knowing that without this demon on our shoulders, we all could offer and achieve so much.
To do things that I took for granted in my teens and twenties, going to the doctors, opticians, dentists or getting my haircut just fills me with fear, often I just don't go.
I often wonder how life would have been for our ancestors and if they suffered with this, or is it a disease of the modern age.
I guess I'm luckier than most, was able to hold a job down for 20 years, but as I got older I found it more difficult to cope. I was in charge of an office of 20 people, and if I had to call a meeting or attend one I wouldn't sleep for days before, alcohol was my drug. In my 20's although very nervous I could cope, but in my 30's I began to have panic attacks during meetings it was hell, I felt so distant from all around me and everyone was just staring.
Luckily, I was able to take redundancy, but that was five years ago, I was able to pay off our mortgage. Occasionally I have flashes of major confidence and attend interviews, and have been offered jobs, I then panic over attending induction courses and decline the job, fearful that I'll be 'found out'. I lie about my qualifications, on job applications, just in case I may get an interview, embarrassed at my own intelligence.
I need a job, too scared to claim social, and my savings are running out, but I give the impression that all is fine to those around me.
Don't have any real friends apart from my wonderful girlfriend, whom I should marry but too scared, fearful of panicking during the ceremony (stupid I know).
Not wishing to be sexist, or taking away any pain that females are suffering with SAD, but I feel that its worse for us males, because we are supposed to be the 'strong ones' the 'providers'.
The hell of it all is knowing that without this demon on our shoulders, we all could offer and achieve so much.
To do things that I took for granted in my teens and twenties, going to the doctors, opticians, dentists or getting my haircut just fills me with fear, often I just don't go.
I often wonder how life would have been for our ancestors and if they suffered with this, or is it a disease of the modern age.
i'm 23 years old and i've been living with SAD for many years now. but these past few weeks have really been a test on me and i feel like such a bad person.. my friends are getting married this weekend and i don't know if i'll have the strenght to go.. for the past 3 or 4 weeks i can't sleep because of it and i've been getting headaches almost everyday from then stress it's all i think about.. this is the closest i've ever come to a break down becuase of my SAD.. i'm sure they would understand after some time if i just told them the truth but i'm too scared they will never forgive me and i would lose the only friends i have.. so i feel like i have to lie and say i'm sick which i know it's not right but it's either lie or lose what little sanity i have left..sorry for posting my silly worries here but i had to get it off my chest
They ain't silly, often I think to myself what am I worrying about? But still the pure fear of a social situation overrides all reasonable thoughts, and becomes all consuming. I've lost many friends for the same reasons.
It's amazing how resourceful I have been for not attending social events/meetings etc.
I had agora phobia for years and I HAD TO HELP MYSELF because nobody seem to care.I was thirtytwo when I walk inside of a supermarket and beleive me It wasn't easy, but I did it all by my self, I"m still facing challenges with people,especialy at work, but I try to do my best.
Well, I for one am grateful I came here. I am not looking at freelancing via at these websites as a long term solution. It gets me in work - I can add it to my CV - which, when I am ready, I can present to a prospective employer. It'll look better than having done nothing. This is just what I need (now). Thank you. Looking forward to a future of real employment in the years to come. I have suffered with depression, anxiety and sociophobia for more years than I care to remember. I have had good jobs, and recked them. I don't want to do that anymore, so until I can get past this - I am going to use these sites and work on social interaction in my spare time. Thanks again. Good luck to you all.
I know how hard it is, I have had social anxiety since I started high school, and now I am 22 and it has been a good 4 years without a real job, I have worked as a server for seasonal, factory job and fast food for like a month. Well what on earth am I supposed to do now?! I really try and God has helped me a lot in many ways, I feel better going to the stores and eating out. I had dreams of going to school for art, now I'm stuck no job, no money and my family doesn't understand, but I don‘t shy away from telling them what is going on, it is what it is. My mom has really helped me a lot, I don't want my life to just go by I cannot take this anymore and I'm sure I speak for a lot of you out there, god bless. I feel like I am getting better with faith and hope but it is still there, yet I will never give up on KNOWING that one day I will be free of this monster, that is what you have to believe in. I have had so much time to myself and I've lost a lot of my friends. We do need so much help! I wish there was something for us. Please also do not be scared of telling people what you all have, I told all my friends and the ones that didn't get it or made fun, I left them but I do have some that are there for me, just know that it is best to tell people because you need to find people that have it too so you can try things. You have to be willing to want change! I find sitting in a booth is the best way to go out and eat. If anyone is in school my biggest advice is to tell a teacher your problem so you may sit in the back or if it is there take that back seat it would be best in the corner on which ever side you are most comfortable, I used to sit on the right. When I sat in the front it messed me up so bad, I would flinch, shake, sweat and I didn't learn anything, omg and the constant blushing! I am going to try very hard and get a social job and I think to myself the worst that can happen is I freak out and quit, well then at least I would have tried! You have to be consistent with SAD and you have to be positive and find something you love to do like a hobby, that really helps. Do not get a job online please that will mess you up more. Being home all the time is not good for SAD I have had this for about 8 years now and I know how hard it is where you don‘t even feel comfortable around your family and birthdays and weddings. Take baby steps, do not settle on the easy, get a plan and some goals and go with it, no matter what keep trying, if you fail one day don’t give up, life is nothing but ongoing tries. Thnx it was a good read and I mean the comments.…..
And please have confidence in yourself! God bless all of you!
It has been helpful to read your comments. I wish I could just get over this like all of you have said. It seems to have become a monster. I have been to several counselors, and to a 3 week intensive program. I have almost made it through college. This is my second time coming home from school, because of the social anxiety. I feel like I keep letting people down because I just all of a sudden leave. I have been struggling like this since I was really young. I feel so trapped. I feel it has gotten in the way of actually learning anything. I have sought Gods help over and over again. I do think he really cares, but I just wish I could stop this non-sense. Do any of you feel un real at times? That you are just like this walking zombie who can't seem to stop the racing thoughts. Being by yourself doesn't make it a whole lot better for me it intensifies the fears. God help us please!
I have felt like everything else is unreal at times. I think it is called derealization. I also do struggle with having unwanted racing thoughts that I cannot stop. Yes, God help us!
Also have had this for 10 years, now 22, but because I know the people that would understand also think and feel the same way, there are no 'ideal' friends to be found as they would also just stay at home. University was alright as there was so many people I could easily study and exist alone but now that I have an office job its so hard to be around and deal with people and feel positive. Its like I refuse to let anyone get too close, just saying goodbye and hello is enough. I just want to quit and do an outdoors job with more work and less talk. Sometimes its the pure fact I just can't stand some people and want nothing to do with them, including any talking. I like to be alone and peaceful and listen to music and sit outside and watch the night sky, people are not worth the trouble and stress for me. I feel like people with SAD are often good people who lack egotism, and are actually kind, extremely humble people who are considerate. I think it'd be a good idea for those here to make friends.
Hey all,
It is very comforting to know that there are many other people who are going through the same thing as me, particularly those who are also teenagers.
I am 17 years of age and started getting severe social anxiety during the summer but have also dealt with anxiety in some situations throughout my life.
Social anxiety is ruining my life to the point that i cannot leave the house without the aid of alcohol and have attempted suicide twice once resulting with a fractured spine.
I do not know how it got so severe.. i had two groups of fantastic friends last year and throughout my life in and out of school and was the youngest person to get a job at a supermarket when i went for a group interview only last year.
I am getting soo much grief from my mum, dad and two brothers but they just don't seem to understand and say that i am ruining their lives.
I am currently on sertraline and am having counselling weekly but it is not helping. I do not know why but whenever i am in social situations it is like there is a constant thought in my mind saying you mouth is frozen and 'you look odd'. I sound all wobbly on the phone and my hands shake in public. I cannot go anywhere without my mum for i let her talk for me.
does anyone else use alcohol for everyday life and are there any other quick fixes that aren't so obvious to others?
remember everyone you are not alone... i just hope this can escape . DAMN SOCIAL PHOBIA
Hai friends I read some of your comments and I like to share my feeling to you.I completed my graduation three years back that time I was in search for a job though i didnt get one I just joined training cum placement institute though my family is poor they just want me to get a good job so they joined me there.But due to recession and my inefficiency at that time i didnt got a job in my field so i went for a teaching job in which i have to teach them software what i have learnt in that previous institute.But I couldnt stay here for a month because i couldnt face students boldly without seeing my notes.the supervisor told me not to see the notes and teach the students,which i couldnt as i lack memory power,lack in memory power is due to lack of confidence in my knowledge.Students also will be asking me more questions which i will be knowing only the matter.So i quit that job even my supervisor compelled me to stay there as they were comfortable with my job but i struggled a lot to cope up with my studies and within a three months i got call co-ordinator job where i have to attend lots of calls from the employees regarding issues they are facing in the portals and the equipments they are using i need to assist an engineer to set their problem within the SLA time so i am provided with two phones where i use to get lots of calls one after the other here the thing is I have to speak in english though i studied in english medium
i am little bit weaker in spoken english.Sometimes i cant able to understand the speaker so i use to get blamed for that from the speaker itself though hey are also one of the employee,and the other thing in that job where i faced difficulty is to do more jobs than my capability i struggled a lot to attend the calls side by side I have to log the complaints and sent the enggineer and finish that within the SLA,sometimes i will forgot the complaints and get blamed by the complainer,the other thing is i work little bit slow though every 50% people wil have this problem they will not care about getting shouted or blamed from others but it will affect me a lot.I dont like to hear a bad words about me before others or others to disqualify/say me as inefficient,so i quit that job after three months.rest i will tell in my next comment friends please read and tell something for me
It is very reassuring to read the above posts and find that so many others are experiencing the same social anxiety symptoms that I've had off and on for yrs.
I am 27, but unlike most posters I've been at the same job for 5.5 yrs. I work in a Primary Care Physician practice and am the medical receptionist sitting at the front window and am the first contact for everyone walking into the office. It is a struggle everyday.
There are patients walking in the door and calling on the phone incessantly for our 4 Physicians, and it is an extremely stressful and fast paced environment. I get so stressed on a daily basis I'm suprised I haven't had a heart attack. I feel like I'm juggling 12 tasks at once throughout the day just to complete all of my tasks.
When patients present to my window I get so nervous inside but have to put on a smile and protrude confidence, customer service, and professionalism even though inside I am choking up and just want to have as little face to face interaction with them as possible. I'm not so nervous with the patients or coworkers, but my boss and the Physicians are a whole other story.
I avoid eating lunch with everyone and sometimes go out the patient entrance instead of the employee entrance just to avoid seeing the Physician's in the lunch room and their attempt at friendly, inclusive conversation with me.
When my boss approaches me my face gets red hot, I start to sweat and my mind goes blank and I feel like I can't hear because of the sound of my own heart pounding and my own self-conscious thoughts overtake me and I mutter the most automatic, mundane response just waiting for the interaction to end.
I don't talk to any of my friends anymore and have been in a relationship with a man for 7 yrs, and we have a 6 mo old beautiful baby together. We don't do anything with other couples aside from one every once in a while but I still feel awkward around them. I've gained a lot of weight over the yrs and dropped out of college for medical assisting half-way through the first year because I was terrified of giving a presentation at the end of the class.
I feel like I want to quit my job everyday but want my daughter to be proud of me and feel if I did my situation would only get worse.
I am seeing a counselor and it does feel good to talk to her and I suggest others do the same because it feels good to know that you are not alone and there are treatments and relaxation exercises and even medications that can take the edge off.
Please don't anyone give up we are strong enough, whether it be physical exercise, talking to someone, or doing something nice for yourself, reading, something will strike a chord and lift you up and give you hope and happiness.
Good luck to all!
Hi. I'm 19 years old and I struggle with Social Anxiety Disorder and Clinical Depression. I was diagnosed at age 11, but I suspect it started even earlier than that. I just spent that last hour reading through all the comments. I can't tell how good it feels to know that I'm not alone in trying to fight this.
My first job was when I was 17 years old and it was horrible. I would sob every time I drove to work because of how anxious I felt. My coworkers and supervisor did not treat me well. Somehow I found a way to work there for one full summer before quitting. It's been two years and I haven't had a job since. I did apply to a few places last summer and got called in for an interview. I managed to hold it together until the it was over, but as soon as I left I had trouble breathing and sobbed for 15 minutes. They offered me the job but I just couldn't take it. I couldn't even call them back, my mom had to do it for me. Talking on the phone is a real struggle.
All of this makes me feel like a failure. I want to work and be a functioning member of society but I cant. My parents, though they would never admit it, are getting frustrated and I can't blame them. I am so frustrated with myself. Hopefully, I will find a job that I feel a little bit comfortable in. I want to move on. I'm really trying to trust God with this.
Thanks for sharing your stories. I hope mine helps you not feel so alone. Good luck!
-SADgirl, 19 years old
The only solution I can find to all this is to commit suicide. Tonight I am going to Walgreens and buying some sleeping pills, then I will go back hame and take them all. I can't live with this anymore, I swear to god I am done.
Alexander! Please think about what you are going to do!
Social Anxiety is horrible - I know personally, but PLEASE suicide is not the answer! I know it may not seem like it, but there ARE things that can be done to help you RIGHT NOW. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, things change.
Hello everyone. I am a 30 year old male who has suffered from SA since high school. I am totally miserable with my life. I can't succeed at anything I do. I quit every job that I have due to my fear of being around people. The only job that I have ever been able to keep was one where me and this one other guy ran an entire department by ourselves. I loved that job, but got laid off. Every since then, my life has taken a plunge. People who don't suffer from this disorder have no idea how horrible it is. My family thinks I just don't want to work and that I am lazy. They tell me to "get over it." I wish it were that simple. They just don't understand. At this point in my life, I don't know what to do. I don't see a promising future for myself at all. My life is a nightmare.
Suffering Soul, I believe you have suffered much and continue to suffer. I just want you to know that your description of your life sounds very much like mine. I'm just holding on one day at a time and trying my best to trust God with this too. I do know this, if we love Him He will come to our rescue in our time of trouble. Hang in there, you are doing great!
I am a 19 year old girl who has sufferedwith severe social anxiety my entire life. I haven't been able to do anything with my life after graduating high school. I applied to an online college, went through all the steps only to find that the final step was a phone interview, and I couldn't do it. I've submitted many online job applications, got one place that wanted me to come in for an interview, but I freaked out and couldn't do it. I've pretty much given up on ever making anything out of myself. Talking on the phone is one thing I really can't do, and just talking in general is excruciatingly painful. When I'm sick I don't even go to the doctor's, because my fear of interaction is so bad. It would be different if people understood, but no one does. I want a job, but every single job is highly social it seems. I think I'm just going to end up being a total failure in life.
SweetSilence, I just want you to know that I DO UNDERSTAND. I have the exact same problems as you. I can't work, make phone calls, go to interviews though I desperately want a job. You are not going to be a total failure in life because of regardless of social anxiety or not, you are of MUCH MUCH value. You are of great value to your creator and your are worth more than all the treasures of the universe. What you can or cannot do has nothing to do with your value nor how much you are loved! Even though you may hindered at this time, like me, from doing certain things in this life, you still have much to contribute to society. You are special, never forget that. God Bless you.
I haven't been formally diagnosed with SAD, mostly because I can not deal with having to speak with a doctor, but I feel confident this is what I am suffering from. I have always been the quiet type, though initially never a serious issue, but my problems really spiked when I met my Fiance in high school. At the start of the relationship I was the more dominant one, but this changed drastically when he became possessive and controlling and starting setting all sorts of boundaries in my life. It got to the point that he even insisted I stand a certain way in public and not make eye contact with any other males. I was forced to separate myself from my family and had to tell every friend I had that I could no longer speak to them (One of the hardest things I've ever done). I spent my high school years wearing the same large jacket everyday to "hide" my body from others per his request. Though as ridiculous this sounds (trust me I know), I stayed with him and he eventually grew out of most of this behavior, which is unusual for people with such personalities. What I am left with, however, is this severe fear of interaction. I feel that I cannot function normally without him by my side and fail in even casual conversations without him involved. Now 22 years old, I've never had a job. Like others here, I did take some online classes and really enjoyed it. I did extremely well but could not afford to take out anymore loans to pay for an overpriced education. I could qualify for grants and other means of receiving a free education here locally, but I know I could not face others in a classroom. I understand the huge feeling of disappointing your family because I feel that is exactly what I've done. My parents knew of my Fiance's past behavior and assumed he was keeping me from getting a job (which was the case initially). However, he is the one who is now begging me to get a job to help support us. I've filled out many applications and even managed to speak to the owner of a liquor store once (I had to prepare extensively). There is a new Walmart opening in my city and today my Fiance drove me to the hiring center they had set up. My panic started when he told me about the center but hightened when we arrived. I held back tears and knew I would not be able to go inside. My Fiance went in to ask some questions for a "friend" and said they would be interviewing Monday and to come back then. I am now faced with whether or not I'll be able to go through with an interview. I am very awkward socially and I do tend to freeze up and find myself unable to think. When I say or do things that are unusual or embarassing, I will replay the situations in my mind over and over, almost as a way to punish myself for being incapable. Like someone else mentioned, I remember all the occasions my anxiety was at its worse. They haunt my mind. The only way for me to escape and feel normal is to drink alcohol. I don't drink much, every other weekend or so, but I worry that I might start feeling attached. When I'm drinking, I get loud, unrestricted, and very talkative. It is as if my alter ego is coming out. When sober, I do have days where I feel much more "normal" and I have days where I feel completely confined to my bed. I just never know what tomorrow will be. I wanted everyone with my severety to know that I can relate and it has been helpful hearing others describe the same symptoms and reactions to life as I have. I do feel that perhaps with time I can improve, but I know this requires me to push myself. I am afraid to look too far ahead in the future because I don't know what I would do if my Fiance left me and my parents refused to support me. Righ now, I feel that I might give the interview a shot Monday. I hope I can build up more confidence in the meantime and not chicken out. I worry most about being stuck with a cashier job. I've never ran a register before and feel like counting out money correctly would be a huge challange for me in that setting. I can just see my register coming up short and getting fired. Does anyone else have the same cashier fear as me? I just don't feel confident handling money while focusing on unpatient and hasty customers. Sorry for the long vent. Wish me luck!
Getting a job at home would actually help at people with social disorder.... i have S.A.D and thse dumb ass people keep saying " push yourself " gets me mad becuase wouldnt you think we fucking would if we could??? its not some game. If i had a job at home i would be so happy, im making money, i can do things in the real world now, i can drive around, buy bigger things. I cant get a job in the real world, nobody wants to hire somebody like me with S.a.d,bad attitude, thugish look or whatever they think i am. Even some lucky act from god got me past an interview where i cant speak.... i wouldnt be able to last 1minute working infront of people in this world without walking away out of fear.
I totally agree the above comment, when it says ' "push yourself" gets me mad becuase wouldnt you think we fucking would if we could??? its not some game' I've been looking for a way to say that but how you said it then is really clear! Everyone in my life thinks if I 'just did it' I wouldn't be scared. THAT gets me mad. I don't like how people without SAD just cast the issue aside and don't think 'if I can do it, then SAD can't be that bad'
I'm yet to come across a job that's suitable for someone with SAD, and the bills are starting to pile up. Any thoughts? xJ
I got a job working at a grocery store and started as a curtsey cerlk and it was a hard job (pushing carts, putting items away, cleaning bathrooms, floors of entire store, and getting items for cashiers). But, because I worked hard I got cashier and it was difficult for me at first but I started to have less anxiety around people but I still find it hard to hold conversations with customers I just do a simple hello and thank them.
I never really knew what was wrong with me because I was to scared to tell anyone how I was feeling. I am in my second year of nursing school and my SAD has become so debilitating I can't function at clinical. I even started bawling right in the middle of the hospital the other day. I don't want to go back. I think i need to take a leave of abscence from school and talk to someone about this and see if there are any meds I can take to help me. I am so embarrasssed to tell my parents but I believe if I don't get help I wont be able to finish nursing school and it is something I really want. I have had part time jobs but always quit after a week and usually end up crying when I am there to. I feel like such a baby and don't understand why other people can handle these simple situations and I cannot.
Nobody can understand the illness when they don't have it. That is why anxiety disorders are classified as disorders. Work from home can include positions which allow the contractor or employee to leave home too, but it is on their terms and not a forceful situation. I have suffered with panic attacks since I was a child due to trauma suffered as an infant. While I am grown now and managing my life, I have found I am happier working as an independent contractor and also much more productive.
Alexander please post and let us know you're ok.. please please please don't do it
I No what you all are going through I suffered fromnot from an early age no one seems to know what I'm going through berthing I go out l have panic attack and everyone is always looking and watching me I've got to do work experience soon for four weeks I have to catch two buses there I just can't cope I want to kill myself by don't have the strength I'm an embarrassment I just can't cope anymore
Hello all, I’m 24, male, and I’ve been suffering from social anxiety many years now, it probably got bad in my early teens and in the last 5 years has really gotten debilitating. I was able to hold a job for 5 years at a supermarket serving cuntstomers but I had to quit because I started developing a sweating problem to go with the anxiety, lucky me! Now I’ve been out of work for a year and I find that little things are a massive struggle for me. I can’t even go into shops to buy new cloths or shoes because I freak out from the sales assistants. I’m terrible at making small talk, my mind always goes blank. I feel a sense of embarrassment everywhere I go, I hate bumping into people I haven’t seen in a while and they ask “so what have you been up to?” Just love that question! Geez social anxiety sucks ball bags.
im having trouble understanding how you even get jobs.... two of my jobs i worked at i got from fam members. i worked at subway for one day... then cried the next time i had to go into work cuz i didnt want to and felt like a big disapoint ment to my dad and the rest of my fam.. i believe i got my anxiety threw publick and high school form being bullied i i have been keeped inside the school on recess and lunch breaks to keep me safe :( and i even had the docters to get my head checked from havin my head smashed off the outside wall and ground, i have always been quite and not social, and have no idea y i was picked on so much :S im now 24 on welfare, witch i always told myself i would never go on, applied for odsp (ontario disability support program) it took a year for them to tell me i dont have a disability i had to go threw all kinds of appointment with welfare, doctors, and physiatrists and its all been making these worse. makes me think i can get help with finances and then nothing help and you end up in a worse condition.. i love working and i am a hard worker but i will never work in a restaurant again.. i had to quit the last two do to horrible chest pains.. which feels like heart problems i dont wish it on ne one... the only time i can actually hold a conversation is when i have been drinking, i have done self inflicted harm i get so angry with myself and my mind keeps me angry with myself when i get really down playing over horrible moments of life. i never do it to take my life i couldnt i think of my mom and fam crying cuz what i have done... ne ways i really wish i could get an at home job and feel that i can accomplish something..
I never thought i would ever right on something like this i guess this is a good step.. its nice to here other ppls take and look on how they are doing and living with it.. and most important never give up fellow S.A.D friends
You just dont know how hard it is to "deal with it" Having high anxiety and depression for so long as i can remember,It takes over my life. Nothing I can do ever do to try and stop it, it doesn't work and the pressure of it all makes me not try or quit.
Self employment, you need to be able to be creative and work for yourself, people like us need to be involved with working with our hands, designing, building, making things, this does not involve social interaction, you develop a skill, talent. If you do not have a passion for something then you will always be stuck having to work for someone else and being involved in the social climate. I will say when you do have a passion for something you no longer have a social phobia at that specific point because at that point you want it to be known and therefore you will automatically put yourself out there, I think forms of social phobia have to do with more of your personality type and simply not wanting to feel like a servant to others. I am far from shy, very bold and aggressive so I can't say social phobia concurs when your passion for something brings you out into the open, social phobias occur when you are feeling out of your territory and not in charge of the situation.
Jobs that have little interaction with people as part of the job and less chance of performance anxiety include many jobs that are done at night like stocking shelves, commercial cleaner, security guard. Jobs during the day may include house cleaner, janitor, landscaper (cutting grass etc), walking dogs or dog sitting.
Hello everyone. I am a 24 year old grad student with a BA in art and technology and suffer from both SAD and Asperger's Syndrome. I currently work part-time at my local library and am not happy with it at all. I grt extremely anxious when peoe ask me where they can find such and such a book or video. Somedays I can handle it, others I panic and just point them to the reference desk instead of talking to me. Ironically, it's often very loud in the library (especially the childrens area) and all the noise and stimulation is too much for me to handle at times. I don't get much pay, just enough to buy things I need. I live with my parents but in a separate part of the house so I get to feel like a renter instead of a daughter, which actually is more freeing.
I had often thought about starting an online art/ greeting card business from home but now that I read this article I'm starting to doubt myself. My main interests are art, music, animals/ I am a big animal rights activist, and baking.
I just don't know how I can use my skills to find a job or start my own business. I also take herbal remedies such as Larch extract and Kava to help ease my anxiety.
If anyone has any suggestions, they are MOST appreciated!
My SA or extreme shyness, whatever it is has really kept me from life and reaching my full potential. I'm 23 and dropped out of college because I was too scared of all the presentations and social networking & interaction that had to occur. Anyhow I am now working at a min wage job which I want to quit. I want to give a direction to my life and do something productive that will bring out my potential but I am too scared of many things. Fear has dominated my life. There should be some support network for us with similar situations.
Any suggestions? I feel very bad about this current situation.
I am in the same boat as many of you. I have social anxiety (since I was a young kid, like preschool age), and my fear has mainly prevented me from doing a lot of "normal" things. I dropped out of high school at 14 but later earned my high school diploma through distance ed. I am now 23, have quit three low-paying jobs within the last 2 years, and am currently unemployed but looking for a job that isn't too customer-service orientated (almost non-existant, considering my lack of college education and work experience). I have been working on college prereqs online and if I pass this last exam I will be finished, but I am having major anxiety of actually attending a regular college program soon - I'm even having some anxiety just thinking about applying! I have been interested in nursing for years, mainly because of the one-on-one interaction with people(which I am comfortable and good with), but am having a lot of second thoughts because nursing programs are heavily group-oriented. I'm good with getting along with others, but definitely not in making and keeping friends because I hate when people get too close and start to realize how different I am. I suppose I look and act normal, but that's what it is... it's an ACT. I do it to get through the day but I would rather, for the most part, be left alone. It's a sick cycle!
HI guys, I like many of you are suffering from severe anxieties. I suffer from GAD with some added phobias. I have had this for most of my life. It started when I was a child and yelled at by my father because everything I tried to do was a "half-a%$" job. Looking back, I believe I've never had much self-confidence. Somehow amazingly I graduated from a 4 year college with a degree, even though alot of the time I was basically afraid to leave my apartment to go. Now I am much older and doing a little better, but one thing has not changed, I CANNOT KEEP A JOB! I bet in the last 5 years I have had at least 12 jobs. I tend to forget things and with my low self-confidence I tend to get really nervous when the heat is on. My last job, my boss was a Jerk! I was scared to death of him. Anything I did that he didn't like ,he yelled at me. I have almost lost my house twice and if it wasen't for my wife I would have never got in one. Right now I am playing a familiar role for me, "Stay At Home Dad". I feel like such a loser all the time. I know how people look at me. Even most of my family thinks I am a lazy bum. My wife is pretty supportive but I think she even feels that way to a degree. She's getting tired of "putting up with me". She just does not understand. As many of you have said, you can't understand unless you go through it!!! Even my theropist, While talking to him one day, I thought to myself, How does he know how to help me? How does he know how it feels to be afraid all the time? Anyway, I am on Citalopram 20 mg. The doctor wants me to up to 40. I don't want to because I already have dry mouth and some nasty indigestion. It does not seem to be helping my anxiety anyway. I will have to admit that I feel less depressed, however. Anyway, thanks for the listening ear. Even if no one else wants to hear it, we can help each other.
I do not have this affliction but understand it totally and sympathize with any one going through the distress!!! My problem is that I don't like people and do not want to deal with all their drama so a job where there are not many or no people would be great for me, I want to earn a living without hearing about all your problems, gossip, and or the soap opera that is your life, I have my own problems that I deal with on my own time. I don't bother you & I don't want to be bothered!!!
I'm 31 and I've had SAD all my life. Sure, I wish I had a way of getting income. SSI BARELY covers my bills. I get lucky just to get by every month. I understand what some people are saying--that we should TRY to get a REAL job and improve our anxiety .... but that simply isn't an option to the people with more crippling SAD. In fact, if some healer healed me of SAD tomorrow, I wouldn't be any diffrent, because I know how people have treated me for this illness in the past. I know drug dealers and embezzlers and alcoholics and troublemakers--you name it. They all have better reps than I do because they're more 'personable' than me. Just always seemed like everyone who has 'common' problems still are accepted ... unles you have SAD. So, no, I don't want to work around people when I know those people put me down and accept somebody who has worse problems than I do. I don't know about other places, but america is not the land of the free; It's the land of the unjust.
If I get rich I will build you all a big private island in the sunshine
I can only Hold a job for about a year max so have been currently building a life plan around that
A carriers not an option why kid myself
so I will save as much money as I can over the next 5 years and buy a build a cheap Cago home abroad I will still have to find work but only really for my food and small bills so could cut it down to weekend bar job or working back in UK for few months a year whatever.
I'm nineteen years old and I have social anxiety or at least I think I do. I haven't been diagnosed with it yet because I am to afraid to talk to anyone about it. I have no friends. I just started college and I was hoping that a change in my life would make things better. However, things have just gotten worse. I am to afraid to talk to anyone. Whenever I am presented with the oppurtunity to have a conversation with someone I freeze up. My face gets red, my heart races, my stomach feels like it is being twisted in knots. I have no idea what to do about my problem. Whenever I get near people I feel as if I am going to die. I went to college with the intention of studying film and with the hope of one day becoming a film maker. How I am supposed to do this when the very though of being around people makes me feel as if I am going to have a heart attack. I really do not know were to go from here?
Informative hub.
Is there no hope for us? I DO NOT WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE! So am I to remain forever unemployable? This was no help whatsoever.
Im 17 , no gcses, no job and suffer from mild SAD and Bad GAD. I suggest hypnotherapy it is calm effective and can be done by urself or by a professional. I keep forgettin i am young and dont need to decide right now what i want to do in life. X
Hey.. uhm, well to start things off i've had anxiety since I was about 15.. im currently19 and I may have a job at a retail building supply store.. I had comeonlne to search of ways to get around social anxiety and customers.. andso far it appears pretty bleak.. I have all the same problems.. I tremble, blush red, and I hate eye contact.. and the worst part of it all is that im a gay male.. and when I talk you can tell. I feel as if there is no hope for me, im always going to be harshly judged forwho I am.. I just pray that in the future they have better treatments than they do now.. Wish you all well.
www.freemeditation.com / www.sahajayoga.org
try meditation, it has helped reduce my anxiety alot.
anybody here wanna chat..I'm a member of socialphobiaworld....(crimson_red)....I'm really desperate on finding friends....
I personally dont know what I have because Im too a f#$%ing fraid to go to the doctor. At the age 16 I quit school because I was too busy worring about getting out of there and home to pull any kind of decent grades. Now I work delivering papers in my sisters name so I dont have to deal with a boss or cash the checks. My nights consist of pretending the women on tv are my wives / girlfriends. Im 30 years old and have never had sex. I have this since before i could remember and I cant visualize my life as a normie.
I take that back i can visualize life as a normie. what i meant was every time i do i start weeping
I find it hard to interact with people at work, but I was thinking of jobs I could do that don't involve interacting with people and I came up with night watchman or security guard.
GET PAID TO JERK OFF
Hi all,
This is my story and i hope everyone suffering from SAD can share on how they try to cope with their own SAD or "avoid" it so that those in need can also try it out and see if it works for them. Peace!
I'm 23 years old and realised that there're many out there with worse cases than me. I would consider my SAD as mild and i'm also suffering from tinnitus during army a year ago.
4 years ago i was in tertiary studies and getting it all stressful but it was a series of events that triggered my anxiety as i did not have it before.
Firstly i said something wrong and i made enemies whom they ill-speak that i'm weird and so everyone more or less associated me with that except for a few which i'm glad. I also tend to be paranoid after all these and think more that the world revolves around me and everyone is talking bad about me. It worsened the tendency for anxiety with paranoid and thinking everyone is judgemental towards me which is not true.
Secondly, I went for a singing competition even though my voice is bad but i enjoy singing. In the end, i went into a "trance" and shouted the whole song out which later that night i had a surge of negative energy within me and i nearly end my life that night. I'm glad i took a step back from the windows and immediately told myself this is not right but the insanity is real...Its a spur of a moment of trance.
Thirdly, my first relationship is also at this down-turning "start" of my life which she soon left me. All of these happened at "one go".
Soon after, somehow for some unknown reasons I begin to be afraid of people and scared to death often with panic attacks. My paranoid thinking makes things worse and when i work part-time at a video stall (retail), it was real bad as i struggled in the shop with people walking pass the corridor. My facial expression always give way when i panic and i'll try to breathe (although its hard at first).
Soon, i entered army doing security guard for 2 years which i took it as a chance for me to have an environment to relax and think about why am i thinking things a certain way and is it really that critical? I always like to challenge myself and so SAD did not hinder me to do what i want. I decided to start on a hobby which is dancing in hopes that it can also be a form of therapy. Yes its kinda funny when after a while the instructors commented "randomly" that some faces are looking all tense and excited. I would think that its good to be involve in some sports as an "escape" and yes, after dancing for 2 years hiphop, i still cant remember the steps properly and have "lag" time. But when i'm jogging, my tinnitus tends to be masked. However, after 3 years i realised that my tinnitus worsened with the music...
During my army, i went to see a psychiatric and he referred me to a counseller which helps in my thinking and how i view things. The main thing is that we have to "let go" of things and think that things could be of some other perspectives rather than what we truely think it is.
Currently, I'm working as a marketer and studying a marketing degree (although i do not know how long i will last from what i see others comment haha). But over these times i think counselling works well for me as she guided me through my worse times and help me think in a less critical way. As of now, i do enjoy working with people but i still have panic attacks which I will quickly look away to stay from people's direct gaze tends to make them less affected. Although people i interact with can somehow tell that i have anxiety but i try not to affect them as somehow it can...yes it is temporarily. But i still have a problem when meeting clients especially when i try to suppress the panic attack, i will have goosebumps which my facial expression will give way.
Picking up a hobby or having a sport do help for me. I also practice deep breathing which works best for me. There're a lot of breathing techniques so people, please check them out and try it. At first it may not work totally as you could be unsure of the technique...I hope it helps :)
I also tend to look on the brighter side of life now that my life is in turmoil because if i were to be pessimistic, more negative thoughts will be attracted to me which leads to attracting more bad things in my life (From the book of "The Secret by Rhonda Wayne"). I used to be a polar pessimistic and INTROVERTED person. Being an introvert is EXTREMELY BAD for anxiety affected people in my point of view as i'm already very scared of people (how they will look at me) but at the same time, due to losing a lot of friends, i would want my life to be surrounded by more friends. AND a lot of not that healthy qualities invites an introvert from what i studied and come across so that gave me every reason to FIGHT and STAY STRONG!
I also frequent the library to find books which can aid to my cause. You guys should too! Ultimately, i would suggest people practice some breathing techniques to calm themselves down for a moment, before facing "the harsh environment again".
Strangers in my neighbourhood sometimes "mock"/ "gives me a kind of expression" and i think they know of my panic attacks. This is partly true and partly because i'm paranoid BUT whats more important is that i also study psychology as an interest to boost my mentality. Whenever i'm going around the neighbourhood or to the market, I would think that I'm an MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter. It is not that i would beat people up or anything, just that for MMA fighters they go through a mental process before they fight to make them fearless and invincible. One example is a MMA fighter thinking of a real fight as a video game, just that their health meter does not go red and they're always invincible. Another example is a MMA fighter thinking that every step that they take when they enter the stage is like a thunder and sometimes they roar out loud and have stare downs.
I also use another technique which is called Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). I tell myself everyday that I'm a brave and confident person so that it can more or less be in my subconcious and a more concrete part of me, which through the process of NLP and constant reminder, i hope to achieve. I also have a religion which i fall back on everytime i need it and everyday i chant in some manner. However, do not have a religion just for the sake of having it but know the roots and ask yourself is it really what you want and discover more when you want to devote yourself in any religion. I'm not an expert in any of the subjects though and i'm not trying to sell anything...everything that i speak is to the best of my opinions and does not signify any intentions.
I just hope that everyone with anxiety of any kind can benefit from what i shared and hopefully you can share some insights to how you personally manage your anxiety to shed more light in this area and who knows, someone who may be contemplating suicide now is suited to your methods to temporarily reliefing their panic attacks and cope with their life better. I pray for all of my kind and hope that everyone can live their lives better. Remember, always look on the bright side of life and stay STRONG!
Best Regards,
Fanky
Have been through all the stuff abouve with SAD and social phobia for 4 years now. It's gettin' so bad, I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror.
I have SAD, and currently work as a home daycare provider. But new laws state I have to take a first aid/CPR class and I am scared to death to go. Also, since my 64 year old mother lives with me, she also has to take the class and she doesn't remember as well as she use to, so I don't know if she would pass or not. I don't have many children due to living in a small town and a big daycare center nearby. I don't know what to do. I am SO scared!!
Hi. I'm a 31-year-old female and I have always had trouble holding down a job. The longest I've ever been able to keep a job is 2 years and it was painful to say the lease. The biggest challenge is the fact that over the last years, I keep finding myself in Sales roles! The one I'm in now is very stressful and the environment can be quite hostile at times. I've been here for 3 months and decided to quit this morning. I told a senior manager and he seemed pleased although he concealed it well. After some thought and conversation with colleagues, they advised me to go back and tell the manager that I had changed my mind. But, the truth is that although I'm advised to stay, I really want to leave. I'm scared because I have a daughter and parents who depend on me financially. I got this job after 2 years of job hunting and crying everyday because I had no money and now I want to run away again. I find myself in a situation where I'm "screwed" either way. What do I do? I'm shaking right now as I am writing this because I need to make a decision within the next hour or so. The senior manager I spoke to about resigning told me that I cannot now change my mind as he needed to then started the recruitment process and that my uncertainty about what I want was putting strain on the sales team. I realise that I have been underperforming and have asked for time to learn the ropes as I feel like I am drowning but their response is that time is money and I need to get with the program. I am soooooo scared. I've been applying for other positions but am told I'm over-qualified. It's hard to find work in South Africa at the moment. It takes all the strength I have not to end my life sometimes but I feel bad for my family who will have to carry on without much-needed financial assistance. But, at the same time I feel tortured. I've been praying for courage, patience and strength but I am so weak and the fact that I need to decide ASAP makes it all the more scary.
I have been living with SAD all my life.At first people would tell me that I am just a shy person but I thought it was more than that.I couldn't even go to school.I didn't graduate high school because of SAD.I can't even keep a job.I got fired from all of my jobs because of SAD.SAD makes me slow,confused and feel like I can't talk around people.The panick attacks are worse.When I am in the spot light around a bunch of people my heart beats faster,I get sweaty armpits.I am starting college soon and I don't have any confidence.The medication just makes me feel sick.
I am 32 and am constantly amazed at how different social anxiety and shyness are. I know shy people who seem like extroverts with a wide network of friends, yet say they are shy. I have SA and shyness both (as I figure they are kind of attached like boxcars)and cannot imagine having more than a few friends. SA makes it hard for me to even get started making friends. Medication never helped me, either. I've been on nearly all of the SSRIs at one time or another and all they did was make me not care about my problem.
Hi, I'm almost 22 and I've suffered from SAD for as long as I can remember. When I was only in 2nd grade, I was late a lot because my parents would be fighting and my dad wouldn't let my my take me to school until he was done talking(yelling). My mom wouldn't take me into the class room and I would be terrified to go in alone. I would hide in the hallway until first recess. Then I'd go back in with the class as if I'd been there all along.
Fortunately, there were people that noticed I seemed to have a problem. Unfortunately, my dad is a jackass and doesn't "believe" that these kinds of illnesses exist. So because of him, I didn't get the help I should have at that age so it's done nothing but escalate since then.
Ironically, I also suffer from ADHD as well as OCD. I know these things all stem from two things, genetics and the way my dad treated me as a child. He constantly put me down, everything I did was wrong, especially if I didn't do it the same way he would, and he blatantly favored my sister over me. I spent the entirety of my childhood believing I was a complete failure. Now, it's so engrained into me, that I can't take any type of risk whatsoever because the of the fear of ridicule if I fail.
People terrify me. When I attempt to talk to new people, I stutter and can't look them in the eye. I can hardly look people I do know in the eye. I answer questions with as few words as possible and I'll only nod or shrug if I can. Because of these things, I come off as rude, cold, and callous which makes starting any kind of relationship with anyone nearly impossible because they don't want to spend much time around me. Yes, after enough time around someone, I loosen up and can talk more freely, but those that don't know me well enough don't care to find out how I really am.
I've had very few jobs, one as a motel maid and I only got that one because I know the owners. I ended up quitting after two summers because the other two women treated me like a complete invalid and then there were one too many times where I'd knock on a door just to make sure the room was empty and the person was still there. I recently had a factory job for three days but I got heat sickness. That combined with my SAD didn't leave my much choice. A week after I quit, I was still limping, that's how hard it was on my feet. I have managed to work at a small hardware store for a few weeks doing inventory and once a month helping with invoices. These things require very little interaction with other people. But the only real reason why I got through it is because my mom works there and I already knew everyone.
I cannot stand it when people tell me to just "get over it." It's not something that I can just wake up one morning and decide that I'll be able to interact with people. Nor is it something that I can just be pushed until I get used to it. It takes babysteps to even remotely get over something like this. I've been pushed before and all it did was make it worse.
I couldn't even get my driver's license until I was 19. It was just too much for me to handle. I still don't like driving much and I avoid doing it at all costs. I don't mind so much if it's just down the street to go to the store, but any further than that and I let someone else drive. I live in a small town so going to the store isn't too big of a deal because I know all of the cashiers. I can't look at or talk too anyone else though.
The only time I can actually handle talking to a stranger or someone I barely know, is if it's a topic that I am very passionate about and know a lot about it, such as Harry Potter. I think that's where my ADHD takes over because I'll get really excited and I talk so fast people can hardly understand me. Once the topic changes though, I close back up.
If it weren't for the internet, I would get almost zero socialization. Do you think I would have been able to talk about half of this with an actual person?
I'm glad that there are other people out there who understand me and know that this is not just some silly little thing that I can wish away.
There are two things I have come to think about this:
1. People overestimate how important life is... There is an ethicist out there & several philosophers that believe life is harm & suffering & that it is better not to have been born , but if you do find yourself in the unfortunate position of existing you can find ways to maximise enjoyment & minimise pain. If you cant i think suicide is a viable option. There is no god and if there was why would he create someone with this issue if he can create anything - it is evil to do it! In line twith this point, I won't inflict suffering on another person unnecessarily by having children.
2. If you dont like social interaction, that is fair enough... Not rverybody likes people like they dont like oranges or cjocolate .... Do tour best to make your life tolerabl, whether by isolating yourself & finding income sources that don't require as much or any interaction. I spent the last 15 years really interested in self help. I found all sorts of great books and also heaps of problems with me... So many in fact I would not have the time to go through all the strategies (good strategies) people have written about in their books in my lifetime... So I have decided to accept myself as I am... I am truly sick of trying to 'cure' myself all the time. I have had enough.... I am the way I am, my biology and how I was raised were imperfect and all the effort in the world is only going to have a small effect.
Going forward, I am happy to not create more suffering in the world by having a child who will repeat the process of growing up & all the stress that goes with that & by finding a lifestyle where I have limited & controlled interaction with others. If I can't I'll end it! If the pain of life outweighs benefit... Mark my words, I will go... I am lucky I don't believe in spirits getting stuck in limbo and all that man made nonsense, because it lets me go without more strain or anguish than necessary.
Hello I have suffered from social anxiety for a few years its hard for me to do a lot of things but i do live on my own and dont really have family around so i have to make myself do things i live in a new town for almost a year and a half and the lonelines became overwhelming and of course feeling sorry for myself and how unfair life is sometimes and i started to go out have a drink and start talking to people because i though i was going to go insane being by myself i did this and i meet people some i like and keep in contact with them and see them sometimes i dont have a family that understands my illness in the beginning they would tell me to just do things and get over it i would say wow i never thought of that before i did started a treatment years ago with medication for anxiety the least addictive type in order to cope my best for the time being anxiety does lead to depression and this can be incapacitating for most people i do think there is a reason why we become this way in my case was being made fun of and i didnt really had my family or anyone there for me to tell me anything different so i started to believe what people though of me was real as a teenager as time has gone by in life i have met good people that have told me otherwise and even do i doubted that i was this person i eventually started to see this qualities in me it really doesnt take that much for us to see things different because i met good people that are encouraging and positive that have made a big difference in the way i behave and interact with others sometimes the problem is finding this people when people around dont see you as being strange among other things and are understanding and kind you become more who you truly are some things that help me i do enjoy nature and like to be surrounded by it so when i have the chance i go to the beach or a beautiful park and enjoy everything around me just focusing on that moment and enjoying every detail of my surroundings not on the people to much but once i start to feel better i can sit back and observe the peoplee around me theyre just like us with insecurities and pain inside them that sometimes they can camouflage unlike us our insecurities might be seen with physical symptoms that others can see and make us feel self concious but everybody has this same worries some just hide it better than others it isnt agood thing to hide from the world this worsens your symptoms starting to interact with other even if it is by computer and start doing things little by little going out with family every once in a while getting a hobby and even if it starts once a week or every two weeks this can be helpful too but treatment with medications for anxiety can be extremly helpful i dont recomend addictive medication because this can make things worst in the long run but in order to get you out there and ease your anxiety there are meds that are not very addictive and they help a lot going to a good counselor can help even if its just to talk about all your frustrations and vent for an hour with someone that will be more understanding asking questions to your doctors your therapist psychiatrist is important to inform yourself about what is going on doing research on your own is important anxiety is something that people do overcome and seeing other people stories that have overcome different types of anxiety is very encouraging the actress michelle pfeiffer suffered from agorofobia for many years she couldnt leave her house and this was after she had become famous this is just one example many people overcome their anxiety but you cant think that just because your life isnt what it used to be it wont get better getting distant from people that are negative or poisonus in your life that might try to push down is important this are things that i recommend based on my own battle with anxiety it wont always be good but it doesnt have to be bad most of the time everybody goes thru bad things in life a lot worst than this and overcome it and even do we are not built to cope with things the same way we are not that different there are websites like meetup.com that has groups specifically for people with anxiety and depression that will meet and do different things together interactin with people with similar experiences that can give you advice and wont be judgemental about what you are feeling is important
"Follow an effective treatment such as behavioral therapy"
like for example interacting with people... hehehehe
For 30 years I have this treatment every day and I didn't make any progress.
Hello,
My brothers and sisters. I am from India. Till now i was thinking that i am the only piece like this in the world. but today I knew That There are few which are at least a little like me or somewhat like me.
My case is extreme severe, severe than anyone can think and I am also responsible for making this so. I have SAD from my childhool, but it became worse and worsen when i tried to overcome it.
I was school topper and good at college. by that time i did not know about my disease and always thought that i have lack of confidence. So I tried to overcome it by facing public, attending social events. And I chose MBA for higher education. By my efforts of 3-4 years i thought that i almost overcome my problems of sweating, stammering in public. getting rediss and blank.
So I Joined a govt. bank 2.5 years ago. There was whole day interaction with public. But my extreme bad days started here. I was unable to handle extreme pressure of public. I tried to overcome it a lot and all gone in vain.
Situations became worsen and my colleagues and customers started laughing at me. From last 1.5 years I had so much bad days taht everyday i prayer for death. I did not go to my job for last 3 months and do not take phone calls. Till now they did not fire me as it is a govt. job. but soon it will happen. I have stopped going out and only go outside once in a month at barber's shop for cutting my hair in night time. now i have no courage to go out in day. i alwasy feed severe SAD outside in day.
Situation is so worse that i try to sleep as much as possible. even on TV I do not like to watch people, no family drama and just watch Discovery and National geography.
Continued-
I Know that I am a shit and a big looser but still i don't wanna to show people That i have commited suicide so i tried it in different way, but luck never favours me. i tried to die with diseas like malaria typhoide fever and i even tried to make situation of hypothermia for me. But I am one of the biggest failure, never succeed.
Those are lucky who committed suicides but we have to live with this severe pain till death. Those who tell you that SAD can be cured are biggest liers. Nothing works. if you will try to overcome SAD, it will become worse and will make your life hell and every day you will beg for death like me.
Good thing about severe SAD is that you will find the worst truth of life taht every relation in this world is selfish and no one is with you in your most difficult times.
Yes, from what I read you are all good people, except in unfortunate situations as a result of life. Look up the terms 'empath' and 'old soul' and you might get some more perspective and understanding. What I did to partly overcome SAD is to try to care more about others...when I talk to others I try to really listen too them, take an interest in them and consider their point of view. You will likely find that when you focus your field of awareness upon others and the outside world, you will be less afraid and self conscious. Living life from, and trusting your heart can help you overcome any fear, trust me. Believe in yourselves, don't lose hope, you all have something to offer the world, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
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Hilary 4 years ago
so everyone that has anxiety should be isolated? they cant function in the real world. It seems really unfair. That we just have to sink or swim. Its hard to swim when you feel like your sinking anyways