Tips for Dealing with Social Anxiety
78Dealing with Social Anxiety
Maybe you are not aware of this, but about 20 million people in America have a problem with social anxiety, these people are usually not understood and they suffer a lot from the frustration of having to avoid people and being alone.
Going to a party, to work or to a public place can become a real challenge for them. However the severity of the symptoms are different in each person, some people experience anxiety just in public speaking and performance and others have generalized social anxiety.
Let me give you some tips to deal with social anxiety
Social phobia is a personality disorder and needs to be treat it by a professional psychotherapist or physician so you can overcome it easier.
- You can take some medications to reduce your social anxiety symptoms like anxiety and depression. However you most be aware that some medications cause serious side effects so its vital that you consult with your doctor before trying any medication.
- The most effective way to recover from this disorder is to use psychotherapy, take a cognitive behavioral therapy and if you follow the therapy you will be able to see great results.
- Learn communication skills, there are many courses like books, audios and videos about how to communicate better with people, create conversations, persuade people and be more confident, this will help you a lot to have more confidence when talking with some else.
- Learn relaxation and mediation techniques like breathing deeply, yoga, exercise and any other techniques that help you cope with anxiety symptoms.
- Research about natural remedies like herb medications and natural supplements that help reduce anxiety, relax your body, calm your self, have more energy and be more sociable.
- Expose your self gradually to social situation, its highly effective to little by little meet some new people, go to some public places, talk with someone you dont usually talk that will cause you to be more comfortable talking with others over time.
- Meet new people that have your same hobbies and interest, the easiest way to engage in a conversation with others is to talk about something that you have in common to meet these people, do things that you like to do and meet people that do the same.
Those are some very important tips to deal with social anxiety, you dont have to live all your life with this problem, there are very effective treatments that if you follow them it will work for you. Do the tips that i tell you above and you will be a lot better, it requires persistence and effort but the rewards will be great.
Another thing that you can do and help you a lot is to join social anxiety support groups, here people that have your same problem interact with each other and share their experiences and results on what is actually working for them and what they do to cope with their symptoms. If you want to read the experiences of other people you can also find online forums for social anxiety.
A i have said find professional help, dont stay alone for a lot of time because it can produce depression, is better to find a close friend to go out from time to time or with a family member.
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Social anxiety is indeed terrible. I had speech disorder a long time ago, being already a shy person, it brought my confidence right down, speaking as well as interacting and joining in at social situations. Luckilly my speech disorder cured in my teens and I put myself in stressful situations to overcome my social anxiety. Going to college changed my life, it made me more open and socialble, I learnt a lot. I am still a shy person but not as shy as I used to be. I think people with social anxiety need to push themselves, go out of their comfort zone. People with SA should not care about what people think or say about them, they need to gain some insight about curing it, like reading books or going to a therapist.
Great information but lots of spelling mistakes and missing words.
I have such a hard time around people. I have a bridal shower this weekend. i barely know the bride and don't know anyone that will be there. i feel so rude because i always make excuses not to go to events. but what will i talk about, who will i sit by? i dread hours of feeling uncomfortable and trying to make small talk, while everyone else is so comfortable and friendly with each other. i can tell i make people feel awkward around me. they don't know what to say to me. always weird silences, always avoiding eye contact. i dont know what to do except take xanax and try to leave as early as possible.
I decided to try to go on a date tonight.. I got to the restaurant and left before he got there. I was so freaked out and paralyzed with fear of meeting someone new.. I ruined both of our nights. :(
I decided to try to go on a date tonight.. I got to the restaurant and left before he got there. I was so freaked out and paralyzed with fear of meeting someone new.. I ruined both of our nights. :(
I am entering my second year in college and I find that my social phobia is getting worse & worse. It was pretty bad in high school but, now it seems almost paralyzing. Most of my concerns resemble those Nicole (above). Just feeling completely awkward in every social situation to the point that make up an excuse to get out of it. I'm 19 y/o and I've never been on a date, never kissed & never had any really close male friends because my social anxiety completely inhibits me from doing so. I am currently an intern & simply associating with my coworkers on a daily basis is almost an unbearable task. I'm so scared because I am a journalism/communication major and I know that if I don't rid myself of my disorder, I'll never reach my full potential in life.
when I got out of college I got a job and my social anxiety keep me from ever feeling comfortable at the work place. I became depressed and was eventually let go. now im starting a new job next week and I am afraid of the same thing happening
Yeah it sux. i am scared to talk to girls lol. well i get embearrased and overthink before i even talk to em . i know i have a chance with some but i am to self consciense of my face exprssions .. ERGGGHHH!!!!
(oh well life could be worse)
Im not that shy cuz i work in retail i can speak to older people pretty good and little kids with no problem and with guys my age good as well but when it comes to just blabing and making conversations and keepin up with manly jokes i kind of suck. I am not a social person so i feel awkward with long talks. When i drink alcohol i feel much better and loosen up alot but still have my SA even at high levels of intoxication lol.. weird.. still not a good habit rarely do this people if u have to .. just to break the ice i guess is fine in my oppinion . but dont leave no one on a empty date just like' freaked out' said. that is plain rude just go wit it and c what happens
i cant to other people clearly, and i follow other people who is present with me on the spot. so i wana to get rid of this.
I am able to do well at work, people like me and want to work with me because I work really hard, am helpful and nice. I really have a hard time in social situations with everyone except my few close friends. I moved to a new neighborhood and tried to go to neighborhood events, but would show up (with a LOT of anxiety) and everyone else would know each other and I would feel very awkward, even though I tried. I know that I am not doing very well because I received an e-vite to a neighborhood event and when I clicked on the link the site said I had been uninvited. It is really hard to keep trying when this is what you get. I want to get over this and make some new friends, it can be very lonely
I have anxiety everyday, it ruins my entire life i have lost my job, and most of my friends i used to be close to. i drink everyday to escape the pain of living, but it just makes it worse once i'm sober again. I have obssessive compulsive grinding of my teeth constantly that i cant stop, and i break everything i have over stupid things like when i lost my cigrettes. I feel like i'm an intellegant person that has something to offer this world, but this will never happen unless i overcome my problems.
i have anxiety everyday before school. ive gotten to the point where i just stoped going missed 2 whole weeks already i know i have to go back but i just cant im worried about what everyones going to say. I really hate being like this because i never used to be like this, i used to be really confident and loved school but ever since i hit high school and my best friend moved i changed. My parents havent found out yet about me missing school but i know they will soon and when they do they will make me go back. I was thinking bout changing schools but that might make it worst. What should i do??
I think its all in your head guys. Usually people with social anxiety are to SELF-ABSORBED; they think about themselves way too much. I know because this because i thought i had social anxiety when actually its because your eyeballs are flipped around so your constantly looking at your own flaws, actions, feelings, etc. Try this, instead of going out in social gatherings, school, parties, work, etc. and thinking about how YOU will look, act, and feel. Focus on how others look, act, and feel. Try to make OTHERS have fun, be happy, and feel comfortable (You should know how to make others feel comfortable because you know how it feels not to be). And know that most people have the same anxiety as you, just maybe not as severe. Before you know it you will be out of your OWN head and your SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS will disappear because you will be OTHER-CONSCIOUS;your too busy focused thnking about others that you will stop judging yourself. But go out there and do it because you genuinely care about them not just to get over social anxiety. Before you know it you will be fine. With that in mind know that most people have moments of feeling akward or not knowing what to say.
I like what Ryan said. It's true. I have just got to the point where it's like "STOP IT!" why do I think I am so important that everyone is sitting there thinking about ME? It's a really f***** up way of thinking. Everyone has their own sh*t going on, and really don't care. The more you avoid a situation the worse it gets. That's what I have learned. It is really about exposure. The more you face your fears, the less you fear it.
I just wanted to tell Karen who was concerned she had been uninvited to an evite event. I very much think it was an accidental error by the person creating the evite. I was creating an evite recently and the URL link I provided gave the same message to some people I invited. I think I made a change and made some mistake that effected the URL. It's not you! It's the glitch on Evite!
I love what you said Ryan... I could go on and on cuz I have spent so0oo0o much time in my head it's gross, but I had to say how right you must be and Laura's elaboration on it too.. I might be fired from my job if I don't shape up soon so I will try to more mindfully think about others... I don't agree that I should know how to make others feel comfortable though.. I've spent so much time avoiding people.. I have been struggling with this whatever it is affliction actively for over a decade.. I too have found reprieve in drinking but try not to do it. I've tried many things... from paxil to meridian tapping therapy lol..
I guess I should probably read books about how to be more considerate and communicate better..
i have social anxiety. i don't have panic attacks but its still really bad. i am 18 years old and i need to find a job soon because i'm going to be a senior and i need to have some money for college...but anyways its so hard to even think about working. my parents always get mad at me bcuz they don't understand what i go through every minute of every day. they think i'm being lazy when i don't wanna ask for an application or when i say i don't wanna work. and then they think that i'm rude when someone talks to me and i can't say anything back but a soft "hey" and i can't look them in the eye. i can't go to the store by myself. and if i do i have to push a basket cuz it gives me a little more comfort. i can't hang out with my friends. i always make an excuse right b4 i'm supposed to go with them. I missed out on prom this yr. i'm having trouble even going to school...which i do everyday. i dunno..its just so hard...and its even hard for me to ask my mom or tell her that i need help and that i need a therapist. she doesn't listen. i'm always stressed and depressed from it. i can't stand it anymore : (
@ Hope W
Your'e 18! and you will probably be working for the next 45 years of your life at least. You need to use this time to work on your self, as life can change very quickly and you may not get this time to work on your self again.
I would suggest that you sign on the doll for now and join a gym. Work on your body and build a love and health respect for your self - it is your life at the end of the day.
You should take the advice given on this site and do your own research and try to understand and make sense of how you feel when you are in these social situations.
In the shop or what ever - Take your time, take a deep breath and JUST listen to what you feel and BEAR it for a short time. Then get the hell out of there lol
You need to fight your mind and make sense of the way your feeling - a therapist and all other help - can help - but it is going to be down to you to fix it.
Your parents are your guardians and love you, you should communicate with them all the time - this will help you have social skills and they can get you help or help you recondition the way you think.
Good luck and work on your self NOW (do some pushups lol) or you will have so many regrets when you get older and BTW you get a job to get money and you have as much right as any one from this country or abroad to earn a wage so that you can eat. All you all need to learn is how to play the work politics and youtube, internet has all this info
All the best
Just Do something
Ugh Social Anxiety sucks like hell. There is nothing worse than watching my life just pass on by because I was too afraid to ever get up and just introduce myself to people and make myself known to others. I remember I joined a Spanish class at a local university and I was partnered a couple of times with some pretty interesting guys, but I didn't know what to say to them. I couldn't even look them in the eye, and in the back of my mind it was like SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT! It was like my tongue was literally caught in the back of my throat and I could not say anything. It's ridiculous, and I know I need to do something about MYSELF. I really cannot blame anyone, but I want to get help and I want to help myself for the better. I don't want this to become apart of my life. I have to go to college in a few months and I am thinking myself, how the hell am I going to make it through another four year social scene when I couldn't even barely make it through high school?
It's not easy at all, but it's true YOU HAVE TO STOP thinking about SELF. The voices, the thoughts, all of that crap is just an illusion it will try to make you FEEl like you are crazy, but you are really human being, you just need to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and your social well being. It's NOT an easy thing, but I've seen some people overcome it, and they tell me the same thing IT IS NOT EASY but it CAN be done.
Honestly I don't know what the hell I am going to do with my life and how I am going to deal with this, but I know one thing I feel so much better knowing what I am dealing with and how I can get help to learn how to overcome it. It is not going to be easy, but no one really ever said it would be in the world.
I am extremely timid when it comes to meeting anyone I don't know. I met a girl yesterday who I met through a old friend of mine, when she was hugging me my heart was beating out of my chest and my legs were shaking... She thought I wasn't interested and went home ): Thankyou for your tips though, I will take them into account if I am to meet someone new (:
Tell me about it guys,it's the worst thing in the world. It prevents you from living your life, doing things you want to do. You do things to please others rather than yourself. It's no way to live. The voices, the thoughts, the assumptions that run through your head are so daunting... Sometimes you wish you were dead just to escape the whole awkwardness.
Relationships were hard... The only way I could be myself and silence my anxiety was by drinking and getting to know more about them, so I could make more conversation when I was sober (which was still hard). 1 day I thought screw it, I'm just guna be myself and make her laugh, whether she thinks I'm silly or not, and bam! I've been with her since I was 16 and now I'll soon be 19.
Getting a job was also hard. In my mind I thought people would look at me and think "he's the new guy, let's make things as awkward for him as possible", but in reality, when it came to it... It was the total opposite. The people there were actually awesome, and all that time I had this image of Hell built up.
People suffer from this at higher levels than others, but facing our fears is the only way to over come them. We can't just sit back and do nothing, watching our lives slip away, which leads us to regrets and depression.
I know it seems hard, but it's the only way to move on.
I'm not 'cured', I still have the thoughts, the assumptions, but I try my best to ignore them because like Ryan said above -> It's all in our heads.
Just go out there, do it! Be yourself :] You have the right to, just like everyone else.
I'll try to follow these tips. But I'm not so sure about the medication treatment. I tried talking to my parents and they want me to try dealing with it myself. And the thing is I have friends but I don't have friends whom I can really hangout with so it gets kind of lonely. I hate social anxiety
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It really does suck. I am 35 and still dealing with it. I have aceived a lot in my life, I just got a PhD and worked at a variety of jobs. However, whenever I worked the SA is unbearable. In my first office job I was practicelly in tears driving home every night. I am akward and can sense that many people don't like me. I have had horrible relationship with girls. I thought doing a PhD would help - I did overcome my fear of presentations but I feel I am walking on thin ice all day every day at this job. The last couple weeks have been unbearable and I am not sure what to do. On the outside it looks like I would be happy - PhD, high paying job, but I am dying inside and don't have anyone to turn to. I am trying to setup an appointment with a CBT clinic but can't get thourgh in the evenings. It is relieving to know that so many other have this problem, but at the same time saddening that so many people have to deal with this nightmare and mis-understood condition. ahh life sucks but I guess you have to keep plugging away.
I think I have social anxiety disorder. Whenever I eat before going to a public place, I literally feel like I'm going to be sick or just feel sick. If I don't eat and I go, I feel fine. I get really anxious in a lot of social situations, but by looking and talking to me, you wouldn't guess it. I guess I just need to push on through it, and put myself in more situations I'm uncomfortable with until I can lead a normal life again. I can eat before going to work now and stuff, which is good. The next step is eating in public and going to university.
Ryan, I'm just wanting to ask you where you studied? I was under the impression (being a sufferer of SA myself) that this was a serious mental disorder and not just a matter of being self-absorbed. That's not what they usually teach psychology or medical students so I'm wondering where you went to school. Also, how many years of experience do you have. You are clearly an expert on the matter.
This is a REAL and very SERIOUS illness that you clearly know NOTHING about. How dare you come on here and belittle it and spread misinformation?! People with social anxiety and social phobia need professional help from PROFESSIONALS. Not some troll who has no idea what he's talking about.
To everyone else; there is a lot of help out there if you look for it. I'm about to begin treatment myself and I know how hopeless it can feel. Look for local mental health services in your area and talk to real people with an education. They're very understanding and know how to make recovery easy for you. And most important of all they know how to actually help you.
I have had social phobia all my life, my mother was schizophrenic and didn't like me having any friends and always said people were talking about me. I can understand what Ryan is saying because I have found the most helpful thing for me has been doing volunteer work and community welfare studies. It dosen't take the anxiety away but it helps to focus on something else then all the thoughts in my head that make me want to vomit if I have to talk to someone. I found that I can do things to help other people in a heartbeat that I suffer massive fear if I have to do them for myself. I can get high distinctions in presentations at uni or make calls for other people, but then feel sick to my stomach if I have to ask for something for myself.
I think ive had social anxiety for years but got worse over time. I know i am going nowhere in life because i recently lost my friends and social life.. also i have no job. Im only 16 and when i was going out everyone thought i was laid back and chilled but i was only keeping back from social situations because i was afraid and when i kept making excuses to my friends for not going out they thought i was lazy . It got to the stage that when i went out i had to get drunk and the symptoms go away ... For 2 years i have relied on Playing Call of duty on my 360 as an escape from reality.. Im just so fucked up i panic when going round to the shop .. If anyone reads this and wants to talk add Kyle Minns on facebook . I have never talked to anyone with the same problems as me before
Kyle, you're still so young, now's the time to really work on your social phobia. I wish someone had identified my social anxiety when I was your age. You dont want to get into that whole spiral where you let your panic make you avoid things you know you should do and then hate yourself for it. A lot of life is just play acting, we spend so much time worrying about what others think when they're not actually not that interested in us.
Bull. I have more now than I did when I was 20. There IS NO CURE. Stay in your home; people will always look at you weird anyway. We are of people who should have been sterilized. Why they let us live, or suffer through multitudes of BS medical experiments: drugs, "therapy", not right. Every night I HOPE I DIE. I do not hate people, but I hate what they are capable of...
Hello there i've been suffuring from anxiety for as long as i can remember. I'm pretty sure it's social anxiety disorder. It's very hard doing things in public and even talking on the phone as I get a rush of fear every time i hear the phone ring. I've always got the "what if" thinking.. which i'm told is not good too do.. SAD has pretty much taken over my life. I know longer see friends and even had to take months off of work since i cannot control my panic attacks. I've been seeing a mental health nurse to find way with coping with the attacks and everyday life. I've tried SSRI's and the best one yet is zoloft(sertraline). I've also been taking ativan for the onset attacks. I'm 18.. I've been doing meditation and yoga and i find it helps alot.. everyday is a new day with many attacks and it isn't fun.
Hi,
I have two presentations to do for classes today and I am so stressed. Why do I do this to myself!
Come on guys i know how tough it is i'm 23 i've had Social anxiety since i can remember even as a little girl yet didn't know it was called that until i was about 17! It took me 6 years after realizing i had that to realize alot of people suffer this and i'm doing everything i can to fix it and get a job hopefully this year because i know i can! I'll say the last thing to anyone reading this is do not just sit there and think you can't help yourself coz your more capable than you think you are! There is help you have to find it online or offline, just don't waste so much time like i did i know i'm still young but in a way wasted my childhood and i can't get it back so i'll start again instead of regretting it. @Sarah i couldn't of said it better myself this "A lot of life is just play acting, we spend so much time worrying about what others think when they're not actually not that interested in us."
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jennyj1 3 years ago
Social anxiety is terrible, I know first hand, I did fix it though using all natural anxiety cure methods